*This chapter is a filter for the upcoming chapters so it's shit :)*
Andy's POV
The day I've been waiting for finally came , it's Friday , which means weekends , on weekends only those who are getting better can call someone ... maybe I can call him .
We all stood in a straight line , waiting for our turns , some got out of the office with a proud smile and others with a sad one . It took a life time to my turn to come , but in the end it did .
Walking slowly to the small room I felt as if I'm walking on sand . It's too heavy to walk from one step to another , for a second I questioned myself , Do I really want this ? .
Peeking my head slowly from the white door .
Everything was white again .
The walls , the floor , the small bed , the chair , the desk , the equipment , her uniform .
Yet again I took a deep breath and stepped in , facing my demons . But all this self confidence was knocked out of me , when I saw the nurse giving me a disgust look while looking at me up and down . And I can't but bring my self to ask 'did I look that bad ?'
What'll he think ?
Sitting on the chair while looking around me susspusiously as if someone gonna stab my back .
I kinda wish it's true , so I can rest in peace .
The nurse came closer to me with the same glare in her eyes , she brang a light and told me to follow it , I tried but I couldn't but blink .
She shaked her head annoyed as she removed the light . Her next step was to click her fingers close to my ears , the sound did nothing but made me cringe from the pain .
She nodded then hummed "late responses" she said to the girl on the desk so she could write it down on the small paper . Then she went on with many weird unnecessary stuff that she called 'tests' , like making me open my mouth so she can see my tounge and teeth then pulling on my hair not so gently so she can see the end of the roots and letting me do weird actions so she observe my reflexes ...
All thses tests and she couldn't even ask me if I'm fine , sure I would say yes I am , but it'll feel nice to know that someone still care or at least pretend to care about me ...
After half an hour of suffering , she told me to get up . I was beyond confused . Why ? I tried to be good for almost a month now , why this happening to me ! Why God is doing this to me !? . I thought I deserved it .
When I didn't get up , she got annoyed , she grabbed my wrist hard and shoved me out of the office . Immiadatly everyone's attention was on me , they're stares burned into my soul , or at least that what I felt . They all smirked and some shaked there heads , people start whispering how bad I am . No I tried to be good I really did ! Then there he was , Elliott stood infront of me with a worried look , his lips started to move , I couldn't hear him , but all I could bare to read from his lips was 'he'll never gonna come back' .
In a click of a finger , no one was looking at me anymore everyones attention were somewhere else , some were waiting in the line for there turns and some were chatting , looking around Elliot wasn't here anymore .
No no no .
I wasn't imagining again , right !
of course I wasn't , i-it was r-real . I'M NOT CRAZY !
Feeling the pain , I look down at my wrists , the nurse's nails were literally shown , the red marks looked like scars , and if that wasn't enough to bring a ton of memories to my mind .
One "for being useless"
Two "for being fat"
Three "for being ugly"
four "for being a freak"
five "for being a mistake"
I felt my eyes fill with tears and I blink letting them escape their prison , all I wanted to do was to go back to him and be in his arms . But there was this tiny , small dot in my mind that knew that it's never gonna happen .
And so I let the darkness overcome me . I finally let my demons inside .
There was no purpose in doing it anymore ...
______________________________________
A/N : Poor Babyyy
HEYY beautiful people thanks for reading againnn !!
okay so it's been alot since I last updated this story because I had alot of exams , andddd I fucking passed :))
so yeah I'm backkk bitches !!
And like this chapter is a filter for the upcoming chapters so yeah that's why it's complete shit ...
And can we take a moment to appreciate Andy's recent post on insta ... Thank you :)))
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