Safe | Bakudeku

Chapter 1: The Proposition

Walking turns to running, swimming turns to drowning, flying turns to falling, saving turns to deserting.

I failed.

I couldn't save them.

They drifted off where I couldn't reach them.

And now I'm suffocating in the room of guilt.

~~~

Izuku slowly opens his eyes to the dark room of his apartment. Only a sliver of motivation to get up as the shadows of the night still linger within his thoughts. He lays there for a few seconds, staring at the ceiling, wondering if he could skip work again today. His room lay still with the curtains hiding all the light attempting to peek through the window. The calming yet strangling silence was interrupted by an alarm Izuku had set the night prior. He did this knowing the difficulty of getting up.

A general ringtone plays through, nothing happy nor sad. Just in the middle as an emotionless tone plays within the room. Izuku turns it off and slowly brings his feet over the bed. He doesn't open the windows nor turn on the light. He clumsily walked his way out of his room, leaving little to no help leading him to the kitchen.

He feels his way around, touching the walls and dragging his hands across the surfaces until he feels something cold. It could only be the refrigerator. Izuku reaches for the handle, missing it a few times trying to find it. Once he opens the door, the light instantly blinds him for a second. He hasn't seen something this bright since two days ago when he went out to go to work. With squinting eyes, Izuku grabs a unopened water bottle and quickly turns off the blazing light with the closing of the door.

He sighs slightly while leaning back on the island table in the middle of the room. The surface is cold and makes him shiver a little. With that he then opens the water and takes a sip. Looking at the time on the stove with it reading 6:33 with dim green flashing from it.

Almost time to leave, Izuku thought. With only 27 minutes to get ready he walks in the void to the bathroom. This time flipping the switch that lit up the room. Once again Izuku's eyes burned from the intense gleaming that came from the ceiling.

He then turns on the shower and immediately starts taking off his clothes to go in. He doesn't wait for it warm up, Izuku walks into the freezing cold water.

I don't deserve the warmth...

He washes his face while closing his eyes, feeling the frigid tone of the water dripping down his body. It leaves a bitter feeling against his skin.

After a little time, he turns off the water and goes over to the sink, taking his toothbrush and toothpaste out, brushing his teeth. While doing this, he looks into the mirror seeing his heavy eyes, weighted frown, and his green-black hair ruffled, a mess as usual. The sleepless nights seem to be apparent now. His face seemed to look worse everyday, as the nights are filled with visions of memories he wished to forget. Nightmares struck if he even let his eyes close while he laid in bed. Those nights are not meant to be slept during.

Izuku spits out the minty paste into the sink and rinses out, once more looking at his reflection and wanting to smash the mirror to pieces with one for all. Yet instead he just left and opened his drawer to take out a long sleeve green shirt that looked semi formal enough to wear to work along with some black pants. Izuku got dressed and looked at the time.

Fifteen minutes to get to work... If I had been there fifteen minutes before maybe they wouldn't have died...

Izuku shakes his head, attempting to rid of the guilty thoughts that tear him apart. Coming out of his mind he grabs his bag for work that's filled with papers that should have been filled out weeks ago. Each day more and more work piled up, making the bag heavier and heavier as the weeks go on. Izuku ignores the weight each time though and takes his keys, going out of his small apartment and locking the door behind him.