Julian De Vizio - The One That Got Away

"August First" (Part 14)

[JULIAN’S POV]

I didn’t want to go home. Not like this. The whole reason I hadn’t told Elena, and risked everything with her, was fear of failure. But I had failed. God, I’d fucking failed and fucking lost Elena! After being on top of the world, I’d tossed everything aside without a single care in the world. Couldn’t get any more pathetic than this. Disappointment, hurt, shock, whatever she felt; I didn’t want to see her face looking down on me. I was her Julian, and she saw me as some impossibly perfect person. But I was nowhere even close to that. I’d made mistakes; and letting her go was on top of that list. All I wanted was to escape.

“Julian De Vizio…”

I turned around stunned, “….yeah?”

“Come this way please.”

[ELENA’S POV]

I’d mentally prepared myself to see his face, to hear his voice, to stare into his eyes, and to see his smile. I’d known exactly what I was going to say to him. Hell, I’d even practised it so much that it came out like a bland script. I’d planned my clothes, shoes, hair, make-up – everything! I’d wanted the first time he saw me again after months of separation to be perfect. I’d dreamt so many times over that he’d rush towards me, sweeping me up in his arms, and whisper how our love was eternal. I’d listed every question about ‘The X Factor’ I wanted answered. And lastly, I’d pictured him serenading me while the whole town smiled at us.

But none of that could ever possibly happen, because, well, Julian wasn’t coming home.

I allowed myself to curl up into a ball on my bed as I replayed those words.

“….we’re putting together a boy band….you’re through to the home visits….”

I was speechless, numb, broken, stunned – and most of all, further away from Julian.

As Julian’s journey on ‘The X Factor’ proceeded, his fan base rapidly grew. Suddenly it went from a handful of girls gossiping about how attractive he was, to every single girl on this Earth wanting him to father their children. And, being his ex-girlfriend – if that’s what I was classified as – it was beginning to fucking piss me off! Somehow they knew every minuscule fact about him, and tossed around the ‘L’ word like it was free cake. But they didn’t actually know the real Julian, I did. He was the boy who was nice to strangers, who let people in and gave away his whole heart. He was someone who could have an intelligent conversation, as well as a decent laugh. His smile could warm up your world, and even if everything was crumbling down around you, you could feel safe in his arms. An ache developed in my heart. From this moment on that’s all I would ever have of him; memories.

It was a Wednesday afternoon, it was cold, and it was the start of a new month. Usually I would be absolutely happy in these conditions. But, with the flip of my calendar came a marking on August first that I had conveniently forgotten about. Today was Julian’s seventeenth birthday. I frantically scribbled it out with a pen. Great, yet another reminder of our failed relationship. I was home alone; thereby free to wallow in my own pool of misery. I’d been blasting music and screaming the lyrics in a pathetic attempt at singing when a car pulled up. I frowned; mum didn’t say she was expecting anyone.

My jaw dropped as a figure emerged from the car, “Oh my mother fucking god!”

He strolled effortlessly up my path as he chewed on his lip. I could pick that habit from anywhere; he was nervous. Hell, I was nervous too! I blinked several times over, nope, this was real. My mind was racing; I definitely wasn’t prepared for this, fuck! A knock at the door brought me to my senses.

“Come on, just be cool, you can do this, no big deal.” I took a deep breath as I opened my door to reveal Julian.

His eyes cut deep into my soul, “Uhmm, hey. I know you probably don’t want to see me, but I just had to come.”

Everything around me began to grow dark and my body swayed; I was so stunned I’d stopped breathing.

“I got my P’s today, and you were the first person I wanted to see. I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me after everything that happened. But I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry, and I’ve missed you like crazy.”

I fainted.