Fallen

Chapter Twenty

Everything hurt.

My head was throbbing and I was dry in the mouth. Quietly, I groaned into my pillow. The memories of last night came back to me in flashes. The dancing, the drinking, Jackson. He held me and kissed me until I stopped feeling numb. We were lost in the bedsheets. My fingernails tore down his back. Soft groans vibrated against my neck. He held me down and brought me back to life.

Now it was over and the hangover of a lifetime was taking over.

I slowly turned to see that Jackson was lying in my bed beside me. His thick curls covered his face as he slept deeply. Trying not to make a sound, I reached out to grasp my phone from the bedside table to find several texts from Danielle wanting to know every detail of what happened after we left them last night. Nick had also sent me a message asking me to let him in when he got back because he forgot his key. I quickly typed out a text to Ellie to make sure she was still alive before a soft groan came from behind me. I dropped my phone back down on the table just as a long arm snaked around my waist from behind. Sleepy kisses ran along my shoulder and up my neck. I smiled and enjoyed the feeling.

"Morning," his rough voice murmured into my ear.

I turned my head. "Morning."

He grinned and stole a quick kiss from me before curling his body up against mine. His breath was warm against the back of my neck. I could have stayed like this forever, but the feeling wore off when I noticed a familiar book across the room. Blaine's copy of Dracula rested on my dressing table. I hadn't found the strength to go near it yet. It was just a cruel reminder of what I almost had. Slowly, I was drifting off into my numb state and Jackson became a stranger to me again.

Without warning, I sat up and threw my legs off of the bed. Jackson shifted behind me as I reached down to pull on my underwear left on the floor.

"Are you alright?" he asked as I ran to my wardrobe to find the first oversized top I could find. As I threw it on, I heard the bed creak as he sat up. "Anna?"

"I'm fine," I lied, closing the wardrobe doors again. "I just don't feel well."

"I can think of a way to make you feel better." Jackson patted the mattress, but it made me feel sick.

"No," I blurted out. Jackson looked taken aback. "I just don't feel up to it."

His stare was strong, as if he was trying to peer into my thoughts and figure me out. I looked away and heard him grab his clothes from the floor. Before he put his shirt on, I dared to glance up and caught a glimpse of an intricate tattoo of patterned circles and lines on his lower back. I didn't know what it meant, but I didn't dare ask. Quietly, he pulled up his jeans and rose from the bed.

"I'd better get going."

He grabbed his phone and wallet from the bedside table and headed towards the bedroom door, but something stopped him. My heart raced as he strode towards me and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "I really enjoyed last night with you."

I nodded and smiled.

"I'll text you," he said, leaving a kiss to my forehead. I couldn't help but shiver as he grabbed my hip and gave it a light squeeze before stepping back towards the door. I watched from the top of the stairs as he gave me a small wave and let himself out of the house. As the place fell silent, I let out my sadness and frustration alone. Soon enough I was back in the bedroom tearing off the sheets and throwing them at my laundry basket. My eyes caught the book. I grabbed it and threw it hard across the room until it hit the wall and landed on the carpet. Then I screamed. I screamed so hard that my throat burned and my jaw ached, so hard that the neighbours would be concerned for my wellbeing. With a final sob, I collapsed onto my bare mattress and let myself miss Blaine all over again.

*****

After letting Nick back in and watching Ellie slip through the door in last night's clothes and shoes in one hand, I'd asked Danielle to keep me company after her shift. When she arrived, I shut the kitchen door to block out the TV show Ellie and Nick were watching in the other room.

"I-I can't explain it, Dee. It just felt...wrong."

Danielle sipped at her coffee as we sat around the kitchen table. It was late at night, but neither of us planned on moving any time soon.

"There's nothing wrong about having a rebound, Anna. You don't owe Blaine anything."

"But I weirdly feel like I do, like I've moved on too fast or something..."

Danielle scoffed. "Screw him. Give this Jackson guy a chance to let you forget about Blaine. You don't have to get married to the guy or anything. Just a cheeky shag here and there."
I laughed. She grinned and drank her coffee. I brought my own mug to my chest and considered her words when my phone vibrated on the table.

"Is that him?" she asked.

I looked. "Um...yeah, it is."

She sat forward. "What did he say?"

"That he enjoyed last night and would like to see me again."

Danielle raised her eyebrows. "Look, I can't make you see the guy, but from what you've told me he's charming and good in bed. What else can you ask for in a rebound?"

I knew she was right. Having him against me last night made me feel as though there was a life after Blaine. I told myself it was just the drink and my need to be cared about, but I had to be honest with myself. Feeling his skin on mine this morning made me shiver and I loved it. I simply let the panic set in, but now I had a chance to get him back.

Danielle tried to look at what I was typing in response, but I hid it from her. As soon as I pressed send, I tucked my phone in my pocket and sipped my tea.

"Well? Don't keep me waiting. What did you say?"

"I told him that I'd like to see him again too."

"When?"

"I suggested next week."

"To do what?"

I gave Danielle a look. "God, you're nosey."

"I'm caring," she insisted. "So? Tell me."

"To go for a drink after work. That's it, okay?"

Danielle grinned. "That's my girl."