Fallen

Chapter Thirty Eight

TW // sexual assault

The house seemed bigger than ever now that it was just the two of us. As soon as the front door was shut, Jackson had me up against it. His mouth found my neck to kiss at it.

"It's just you and me now, baby girl," he murmured. "Just as it should be."

Every part of me wanted to push him away, but I was simply too afraid. There was no one here to stop him from doing what he wanted. He'd gotten rid of everyone and everything in my life – my friends, my family, my job. My whole life revolved around him now.

My vulnerable body was lifted and carried to the large sofa.

I hastily rested up on my elbows. "H-Hey, we don't have to do this right now."

Jackson climbed on top of me to pin me to the cushions. He hummed and moaned against my jaw. When I tugged forcefully on his hair, his head lifted to face me; the grin on his lips made me feel sick. "Look, it's been a really long morning and I'm so tired..."

My words went ignored. He took my hands out of his hair and bent down to lick up my neck. It made my skin crawl. I panicked when his large hands pulled my top up to my chest and yanked it off without warning.

"Jackson, please-"

He hummed. "I love it when you say my name."

"But I'm not really..."

"Shh," he hushed against my lips. "Let me touch you."

"Jackson, I don't...stop!" I pushed his wondering hands away and squirmed violently under him. He tried fighting back, but when I accidently knocked the palm of my hand into his nose, I knew there would be repercussions. He grunted, head flung back and hand clutching his nose.

Panic engulfed me. "Oh God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to."

Slowly, his head craned back down. The eyes that met mine were jet black. Suddenly, my chin was in his tight grasp. I whimpered, but it went ignored. My weak attempt to free myself was stopped when Jackson pinned down my wrists. I couldn't stop my eyes from filling with tears.

"I'm sorry," I said shakily. "It was an accident."

A hot kiss was planted on my open neck. The touch made my whole body shake with fear. His thigh was pushed between mine and slowly rubbed against me.

"I try to make you feel special and you hurt me." His hand let go of my wrists to make its way down my body. "You have no respect for me and I need to change that."

I began to cry when I heard him unbuckle his belt. All I could do was stare up at the fancy chandelier above us, feeling the tears run from my eyes and into my hair.

"I treat you with respect and I expect you to do the same. This is the only way to teach you."

I let out broken pleas of forgiveness, freedom, to be rid of the pain. Jackson brushed away my tears and tried to muffle my sobs with forceful kisses and soft touches of my body, but the pain never subsided. In the end, Jackson got what he wanted. He always got what he wanted and I felt as though there was nothing I could do to stop it.

*****

I stared at my reflection in the full-length mirror. The sound of the shower running in the en-suite was distant, muffled almost. I'd had my shower earlier. It took me almost an hour to build up the strength and courage to get back out. The hot water soothed my sore muscles and tender aches, but the thoughts never went away, not even for a second. I shakily pulled the dress over my head and yanked the material down my body. My fingertips absentmindedly skimmed across the cherry stitched on the chest.

Once Jackson had finally climbed off of me, he disappeared out for a few hours. I had no idea how long I laid still on the sofa, but with grunts of pain and many tears I managed to crawl up the stairs and into Ellie's old room. The bedsheets still smelt of her. Every time I closed my eyes, the face, the grunting, the feeling was still there. After a long time of lying so still in fear of being found here, my tired body crashed in exhaustion.

Hours later, I was woken up by Jackson. The shock and fright of seeing him again kicked in and I almost leapt out of the bed. He caught me and ran his fingers through my hair until I was calmer. This time he was soft and gentle with me, helping me sit up against the headboard and rubbing my shoulders. I watched in fear as he reached down to the floor to pick up a large giftbag and place it on the bed. I just glanced between him and the bag.

"Go on," he insisted. "Open it."

I hesitantly looked into the giftbag to see something wrapped up in red tissue paper. My hand grazed a soft material. I pulled it out to find a white bodycon dress with thin straps and a square neckline. It was simple with a small cherry stitched in the middle of the chest.

Jackson perched on the edge of the bed with a grin. "Do you like it?"

All I could muster was a small smile. "It's lovely," I croaked.

"There's more." He pulled out a pair of red open-toed shoes with six-inch heels and straps that looked like they ran up the leg a little.

"The woman in the shop said you'd like them," he said. "She said the colour matched well with the dress."
I nodded and carefully placed the dress on the bed beside me. Jackson looked a little sheepish, avoiding my gaze and playing with a loose thread on the bedsheets.

"I love you, Anna," he blurted out. I froze when his hand grasped mine. Tears brimmed over his dark green eyes. "I love you so much."

"You hurt me." My voice was quiet and slow, but he heard it. His grip on my hand tightened a little.

"I needed to teach you respect-" He stopped himself and took a deep breath. "Look, let's go out tonight. A few of my work friends will be in the town. I want you to meet them."

"I-I don't think I can."

His eyebrows furrowed. "Sure you can. I bought you this outfit and everything."

"I'm just so tired."

"But you were asleep when I came in. Why are you making this so difficult?"

"Me?" I started. When Jackson's face changed into anger, I knew I'd already lost. There was no point in fighting back. I was too tired and sore and sad. Admitting defeat was something I'd tried so long to avoid, but he'd worn me down. So I agreed, and now here I was in front of the mirror dreading what the night would bring.

Jackson had silently put on his red shirt and black jeans. I caught him glancing at me every so often in the reflection. His gaze drifted down my body before landing on the floor by his feet. I bent down to put on my new shoes and when I stood back up, he was behind me, gently pulling me back into him. With a sigh, he rested his chin on my shoulder.

"You look beautiful," he murmured. "You're too good for me."

I bit my lip as he buried his face into my shoulder and snaked his arms around me.

"You deserve someone better. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me."

I honestly didn't know how I felt. Inside, I was numb. My thoughts were jumbled and confused, but I knew that after everything that had happened, I didn't hate him. He let me stay with him after the fire, provided Ellie with a supportive rehab and was taking me to Paris in a few days.

Jackson was now crying into my shoulder,. Slowly, I reached up to bury my fingers in his hair to massage his scalp.

"I don't hate you," I croaked. "You've done so much for me."

His head shot up and he looked at me in the mirror like a hopeful puppy. "You really mean that? So you're not going to break up with me?"

I shook my head. He grinned and kissed my cheek.

"I love you, Anna."

"I love you too."

He spun me around and grabbed my hand. "Let's go."