Prince's Downfall(Inc Chaps)

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Paul Shalem

I saw my wife coming with my nephew, niece and some other kids.

Kadarating ko lang galing sa flight at humiwalay na ako kay Rocco. He went to check Serenity and I told him I’d go home to see my wife.

Akala ko nasa bahay na si Faith pero wala pa. Nagdalawang – isip pa akong pumasok dahil baka si Fatimah ang maabutan ko, magkasagutan na naman kami.

When I was in Italy, Dad noticed I wasn’t lively. I wasn’t attentive and my mind is always fuzzy but instead of confiding it to my father, I told it to my twin.

Alam na ni Zed ang lahat at hindi ako nakakuha ng masasakit na salita sa bunso kong kakambal. He was all ears. He never judged me and never told me that I was a complete jerk. Wala akong nakuhang sisi mula sa kanya. He told me to weigh things further and to listen to what my heart says.

And my heart says, I love Faith.

She matters to me more than my past. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganoon. Siya malamang, na-love at first sight sa akin. Ako, nakuha niya sa halos isang buwan ng pagsasama namin. Apparently, I must still look at her like a stranger but weird I never find her that way.

She’s a friend, a sweet wife, a crazy little love.

Gusto kong makausap si Fatimah nang maayos. Gusto kong alagaan ang bata pero hindi na sa punto na babalik ako sa kanya.

When she spat all those insults to my face, I knew then that it's not her with whom I want to be with. She was dragging me to stick to my dark past while Faith’s helping me to see the good sides of me—to say in the light.

Puta, buhay pa ako ay para na akong hinihila sa impyerno at sa langit.
There’s a strong tug of war inside me but I know which one weighs heavier.

And it feels nice to be responsible.

And being responsible means being able to tell all the stupid lies I wickedly planned.

I’ll tell my wife though I have to see her cry.

Fuck.

I’m turning so weak as I watch her put her bag, down on the table, near the pool.

She’s not coming upstairs to change. Maybe I’ll talk to her later or tomorrow. I have to make love to her first because I miss her so much.

That fucking woman is really my downfall, my weakness and she makes me lose all my strength. With her, I’m the weakest person in the entire Universe.

Too bad I had so much ego and I made myself believed that no one could make me fall, no one  could bend my knees. I anticipated that I’m invincible but as per story said, every man has his Kryptonite. I met mine when I tried to do all the stupidest things in this world towards her.

All my plans bounced back at me. Now, I’m in a grave.

I sighed when I released the curtain. She's done dancing. Kanina pa pala ako nakatanga.

I walked towards the door and darted out.

Paglabas ko ay papasok naman si Fatimah sa kwarto nila ni Rocco. She looked at me with bloodshot eyes. Maiitim ang ilalim ng mga mata niya, magulo ang buhok at magulo ang hitsura.

I could even smell the cigarette she sipped. Kailan pa siya natutong manigarilyo?

Tiningnan ko ang tyan niya at hindi ko matanggap na ganito ang ginagawa niya habang dala niya ang anak ko?