The long way home || Shawn Mendes||

17

The others agree and all go back to there own rooms to get ready. I put on black ripped jeans, a grey bodysuit and a long sleeve black mesh top. I then put on black high top converse and a black leather jacket. I touch up my make up and then I go to see if Shawn's ready.

"Woah Alex you look great," Shawn says when he opens the door.

"Thanks, are you ready?" I ask him.

"Yeah let's head down to the lobby and wait for the others," Shawn smiles and we head downstairs.

"You guys always take so long to get ready," I say when the others make it down.

"Okay you are just as bad normally," Alessia says defending herself.

I look at the others and we all went for a very dark look. Shawn wearing black jeans and a black top, Danny wearing dark grey jeans and a black top and Alessia wearing a dark green top and black jeans.

"Lets go," I say standing up out of the chair I was sitting in.

When we get to the pub we notice that we are way to over dressed. We sit down at a table and order food and drinks. By the end of the night we are chatting with locals, drinking way to much and playing darts, pool and card games.

"So what are you lot doing here in Ireland?" A local man who ended up being called Conor asks.

"Oh I'm just doing a little gig on Saturday," Shawn says.

"Would I know of you?" Conor asks.

"Probably not," Shawn says trying not to laugh.

"Could you play us anything?" A different man yells.

"As long as Alex will play with me," Shawn says grabbing my hand and pulling me over to a small area in the corner with a mic, guitar and keyboard.

"Shawn I can't do this," I whisper to him.

"You'll be fine, I believe in you," Shawn whispers back which gives me butterflies.

We end up playing Fix You by Coldplay. Everyone claps and then we go back to the others.

"You guys are good you could end up doing this as a career or something," Conor says.

"Thanks man," Shawn says, "we should probably head it's getting late it was great meeting you."

"You to," Conor says as we all walk out of the pub.

When we get back to the hotel Danny and Alessia go straight back to their rooms but Shawn comes to chat in mine.

"Shawn you should really go to bed," I say as he yawns.

"I'm fine," he says lying.

"I think I need to tell you what my dream is about so you actually get some sleep," I say sitting up in the bed.

"You don't have to," Shawn says sitting up to.

"But I want to," I say taking a deep breath, "In my dream I'm walking along a bridge and I start to climb over to the other side of the rail tears streaming down my face and you come running along but you don't get to me in time and I jump and then I wake up," I say with tears streaming down my face, "and I don't get why I'm having these feelings and thoughts but I am and I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you."

"You didn't trust me," Shawn says standing up starting to get mad, " you promised me if you ever had those thoughts again you would tell me but instead you kept it all bottled up inside because you couldn't trust me."

"Last time I told you this you didn't stay long you left me and then you made me feel like this and I felt shattered like you made me a pile of broken glass and it took 2 years to put me back together," I cry.

"I know I shouldn't be yelling at you right now I should be making sure you are okay but I can't deal with this you not trusting me I'm here I'm not leaving you is this why you haven't forgiven me yet, I think I need to get some air this is just a lot to handle," Shawn says walking out of the hotel room.

"I loved you," I yell after him making him stop in his tracks, "I loved you so fucking much it hurt it physically hurt and I guess I couldn't forgive you because I was trying to hide the fact that I still do and these thoughts these dark, dark thoughts cane back because I was pushing back the fact that I love you Shawn I am so in love with you it hurts," I cry.

Shawn turns around and quickly walks back to me before kissing me and as he does I realise how much I have missed his touch.

"I love you too," Shawn says before returning to the kiss.