The long way home || Shawn Mendes||

29

I hear some things like yelling, asking what's happening, crying and help as I weave in and out of consciousness. Every time I come back to, I want to speak, I want to open my eyes but my body wont let me and the stress on my body gets to much that I black out again. I don't know how long it is before I fully gain consciousness. My eyes open wide and I look around the room to see Shawn sitting in the corner fast asleep. I want to speak but my throat hurts to much. As if he could sense that I was awake his eyes lazily open and he looks at me.

"Alex," he says before standing up, "She's awake," he yells out the door.

I try to speak again but it hurts to much.

"Shh, it's okay, you don't have to say anything," he says before two nurses walk in the room.

One looks at the heart monitor while the other walks over to me and adjusts my pillow and pours me some water.

"Your doctor will be along shortly," the nurse pouring me water says in a thick Portuguese accent and I nod.

The nurses leave and Shawn sits down on the edge of my bed and holds my hand, you can tell he has been crying as there are still tears in his eyes and his eyes are all red and blotchy and his voice is hoarse.

"I'm so sorry Alex, this is all my fault, I made you even more stressed then you were," Shawn says and I shake my head no, "No it is and what ever happens I'll be there for you in any way you like."

A tear rolls down my face and Shawn wipes it away and then he squeezes my hand as the doctor walks in and Shawn gets off the bed.

"So I have some good news and bad news," the doctor says, she must be from America because of her accent, "The good news is that you and your baby are fine, bad news you have to be on bed rest for 3 weeks, your body was under to much stress and if that happens again you may loose the baby, your throat will be a little sore for a while because we had to put in a breathing tube before you could breathe again by yourself so it would be best to remain from talking for the rest of the day at least," she says before leaving.

I can't help but bursting into tears. if I had lost the baby I would be devastated. I know he or she was an accident but it doesn't mean I love them any less. I look over and Shawn is crying too. He looks at me and he starts to walk closer and I bite my lip.

"If you really want me to I will finish the European tour and we will see about after Christmas," Shawn says and I nod and mouth thank you.

"You should get some rest, it's been a long day," Shawn says wiping away my tears before leaving.

I say in the hospital for the next few days for check ups before Ollie flies out to help bring me home. since I'm on bed rest I have to get wheel chaired through the airport and it's actually really nice not having to walk through airports. My mom tries to convince me to stay at hers but I tell her I'll be fine at mine and since Ollie is in between jobs (she's an actor) she said she will look after me. Shawn thankfully continues with his tour but I still want him to finish the whole thing even though he just wants to finish the European tour. I think he is still trying to process it, for god sake so am I.

"How you doing Al?" Ollie asks handing me a glass of water while I watch White Collar.

"Fine I'm just staring to hate not being able to do anything, being pregnant sucks and I'm not even fat yet," I say taking a sip of my drink.

"Yeah but as soon as you are done being on bed rest we can start all the fun parts about pregnancy like shopping," Ollie says excitedly, "Oh my god and throwing you a baby shower."

"Okay hold on you are thinking way further ahead then I am, I'm just taking every week and every odd craving as it comes," I say.

"I know, I know, I just am excited to have a little baby running around here," Ollie squeals.

"Ollie you know they don't just come out knowing how to walk and anyway I was thinking I should get my own place, there will be a baby up at all hours of the night screaming crying and I don't want to keep you up," I say subconsciously rubbing my stomach where the small numb is showing.

"You know we wouldn't mind Al," Ollie says holding my hand and squeezing it.

"Yeah but it would stress me out more knowing you guys aren't sleeping either, I think it's just better if I find my own place," I say, "and I can still pay rent until you find a new roommate."

"No Al, you will have enough to pay for, babies are expensive, we will be fine until we find a new roommate," Ollie says and with that we continue watching White Collar.