The long way home || Shawn Mendes||

28

"Yeah, sure," Shawn says walking over and we sit down on the couch.

"I need to tell you something and you just need to let me get it out or I don't think I will be able to say it," I say looking down at my hands and I play with the ends of my sleeves that are starting to fray.

"Can I just say something first," Shawn says, "I was so stupid and I was lonely and I got really drunk and she was just there and we have been friends for so long, I'm so."

"Shawn I'm pregnant," I interrupt him.

The colour from Shawn's face instantly disappears and he makes a face I just can't read so I continue speaking.

"I'm not asking you to be there for the baby, I just thought you should know, if you want to be involved you can but I'm not going to make you, it's your choice, I just wanted to give it to you because it is your choice and I can't make it for you, but Shawn if you do want to be apart of this baby's life that doesn't mean we are going to be back together, we just don't work Shawn, history has taught us that," I say and I stand up to leave, "I just thought you should know," I say opening the door to walk out.

"You're really going to have a baby?" Shawn says still shocked.

"Yeah, I am," I say crossing my arms and leaning against the wall.

"And it's mine," Shawn says.

"Yes Shawn who else would it be?" I say getting annoyed at Shawn as if I would stoop that low.

"I'm sorry, I'm just trying to wrap my head around it," Shawn says rubbing his hands on his face.

"You know what Shawn, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come, I shouldn't have told you, I'm just going to go," I say turning around to walk out the room.

"Wait Alex," Shawn says standing up and running over to me, "I'm glad you came, I'm glad you told me, I want to be apart of this baby's life."

"But it's going to ruin your career, just forget I came here just forget everything, I don't need to drag you down with me, with us," I say wiping the tears that left my eyes.

"Stop being silly Alex, I'm here for you, I'm always going to be here for you and this baby no matter how hard you try to push me away, I'll be there for you, both of you and I don't care about my career because that doesn't matter to me just you and the baby," Shawn says pulling me into a hug, "And we will make it work, we will figure it all out."

"I just," I try speaking but my sobs are just to much.

"Shhh, it's okay Alex, everything is going to be fine, we are going to be fine," Shawn says but I think he is more saying it to him self.

Once I have calmed down we sit down on the couch and we start talking about how everything is going to work. I sit on one end with my knee's tucked up and hugging a pillow while Shawn quickly has a shower before coming back and sitting down with one leg up on the couch and the other on the ground with a pillow on his lap.

"You know you didn't have to quit your job," Shawn says, "Danny says your working in a café."

"I did have to quit Shawn because they would have made me come back on tour and I just couldn't face you, not after the way you hurt me, I would have just fallen back into your arms because even though you were the one that hurt me you were the only arms I wanted to be in, and if I went back to you I would hate myself because you keep on breaking me, just coming to tell you everything made me terrified, Shawn, I'm terrified," I say squeezing the pillow, "Can we just talk about something else."

"What do you know about the baby?" Shawn asks.

"Not much, I have to go back in a few days all I really know is that we are both healthy," I say scared to make eye contact with Shawn knowing his eyes will just pull me back in. If I hadn't broken away from the hug I probably would be with him right now and I don't care if that makes me weak that's just who I am.

"Can I go with you?" Shawn asks.

"You can't Shawn, you have to finish the tour," I say looking up at him and I wish I hadn't because his beautiful eyes that I can't say no to stare right back at me.

"Yes I can," Shawn says.

"No, you can't disappoint your fans, Andrew, your crew," I say quickly looking away from him so he can't convince me otherwise.

"They will understand," Shawn says moving closer to me, "If they care about me they will understand."

"No Shawn you have to finish the tour, I will not be the reason why thousands of people are disappointed, I wont, I just can't," I say standing up and pacing but then I feel a sharp pain in my stomach and I drop to the ground.

"Alex, what's wrong are you okay, this much stress can't be good for the baby," Shawn says helping me up onto the couch, "Everything is going to be fine," Shawn whispers in my ear, "Someone help!" Shawn yells.

The pain doesn't stop and I know somethings wrong. A few seconds later Danny, Alessia and Andrew run into the room.

"What's going on?" Danny yells.

"Alex, she's pregnant and she was getting really stressed and she just dropped to the ground screaming and I don't know what's wrong just get some help please," Shawn yells.

Danny runs out of the room looking for the doctor they have at every concert while Andrew calls an ambulance and Alessia rushes over to try help keep me awake but the pains just to much and my eyes close.