The long way home || Shawn Mendes||

41

The doorbell rings and I fix my dungarees and my bandana that's holding back my Dutch braids.

"I got the paint," Jaiden says when I open the door while holding up two buckets of yellow paint.

"Thanks," I smile.

We walk into the nursery and he puts the cans of paint down on the plastic sheet that is protecting the floor. We go around taping off things I don't want to get paint on like light switches and trimmings and then Jaiden pours the paint into trays and we start painting the pretty daffodil yellow across the walls because, em it's me why wouldn't it be daffodil yellow.

After an hour and a bit the first coat is done and we go and start building my bedroom furniture while we wait to do the second coat because I have been sleeping on a mattress on the ground for the last dew days.

"I still don't get why you didn't bring your bed from your old place or any of your furniture," Jaiden says as he lays under the vanity putting in screws.

"Well it was kind of sudden I decided I was going to move out and I thought it would be easier for them to get a roommate if they already had furniture in the room and anyway it wasn't really my style or suitable to have when there is going to be a baby running around," I say laying down on my new bed.

"Okay," Jaiden says sitting up and banging his head off the table.

"Oh my god are you okay," I say running over to Jaiden.

"Yep just my coolness has been knocked down a few pegs," Jaiden says coming out from underneath the vanity.

"Do you need some ice?" I ask helping him stand up.

"I'll be fine," he smiles, "We could probably do a second coat."

"Okay let's go," I say and we go and start painting again.

"What do you think?" Jaiden says and I turn to face him and he flicks paint at me.

"I think it's great," I say painting a line right down his face.

"I know right," Jaiden says painting my mouth.

"You're dead," I say and we start throwing paint at each other while laughing our heads off.

Soon we run out of paint and are absolutely covered in yellow. I grab some towels and I start wiping off some of the paint and so does Jaiden. There's a knock at the door and I go and answer it.

"Alex," Shawn says when I open the door.

"What are you doing here Shawn?" I ask.

"Hey Alex do you think it needs a third coat because I can go and get more paint," Jaiden says walking over and I can see Shawn's jaw clench.

Fuck.

"Who the fuck is this," Shawn asks.

"Shawn, please," I say trying to get hi to calm down.

"No, who the fuck is this and why are they helping you paint our babies nursery," Shawn yells.

"Woah dude calm down I'm just her friend," Jaiden says.

"Don't call me dude and don't tell me what to do when you're sleeping with my girlfriend," Shawn yells.

"What the fuck Shawn, Jaiden and I are just friends and I am not our girlfriend, you cheated on me so you don't have the right to come to my house and yell at me and my friends," I yell.

"Sure because you and Jaiden look so innocent covered in paint, like you haven't been flirting, just go fuck him already," Shawn says.

"Hey don't talk to her like that," Jaiden says.

"I can talk to her any way I like," Shawn says punching Jaiden in the face.

"I'm not going to fight you," Jaiden says wiping away the blood.

"Why not fuck boy," Shawn says walking closer to Jaiden and I quickly step in the way resulting in Shawn punching me right in the face, "Oh my god Alex I'm so sorry," Shawn says as soon as he realises what he's done, "please forgive me Alex, I'm so sorry."

I can't say anything, all I can do is stand there holding my eye in complete shock of what just happened.

"I think you should leave, you've done enough," Jaiden says and Shawn looks at me to see what I have to say but I just look at the ground.

Shawn walks out and slams the door. I feel a tear roll down my face and Jaiden wraps his arms around me and pulls me in tight.

"It's okay, everything is going to be okay," Jaiden says.

"I know he gets jealous but this is to far," I say when I step back.

"Why don't you report him," Jaiden asks.

"I can't it would end his career, and my baby wouldn't have a dad then and I love him to much, I know I shouldn't because he has hurt me so many times but I love him and I know that I should just cut him out of my life but he's apart of me we are connected and we have those perfect moments and they don't last but when they happen they are magical, and even though I don't want to be I'm head over heels in love with him, It's that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of stuff. and sometimes the things that we love the most hurt us the worst but we still love them anyway," I say grabbing some ice for Jaiden and I.

"Yeah you did kind of forget to mention that your Shawn is popstar Shawn Mendes, is anything you said about him true?" Jaiden asks.

"Yeah, we did meet in high school and he was amazing he pulled me out of my darkness, I was in a really, really bad place, so bad that I thought about ending it all a few times but he made it better he made me feel something again, but towards the end he was getting distant and then I saw him on T.V saying his tour started in a few days which he didn't tell me about and I was heartbroken that he was going to leave without saying good bye and he found out I found out and came to apologise but I didn't see him the same way that he could lie that easily to me, I got back into a dark place again and still couldn't get over him, I took a gap year and I went traveling around the world and that's where I found my love for photography and I met great friends like Taz and Ollie my old roommates. When I got back I did a few courses and then started in a photograph company but then they told me I had to go touring with a popstar or I would be fired," I say.

"Shawn," Jaiden says and I nod my head.

"But I loved my job and was to stupid to realise how I shouldn't have been put in that position and that I should have quit, but I went touring and at first I couldn't forgive Shawn and he thought I liked his body guard Danny but we are just friends, but I knew I was still in love with Shawn and I couldn't fight my feelings so we started dating and it was great getting to see all the friends of his I made when we use to date and everything was perfect until my mom got in a car crash and I had to come home to take care of her and then Shawn cheated on me with his childhood friend and there was hundreds of photos so it wasn't just one drunken mistake and he came rushing back to say sorry which I feel like he says way to much and I broke up with him but then a few weeks later I found out I was pregnant and then I had to tell him and it's been a very hard pregnancy so far and then we tried to make it work for Squid," I say.

"And Squid is?" Jaiden asks.

"The baby it's a nickname I gave the baby since I don't want to know if it's o boy or a girl, but anyway we were trying way to hard to make it work and when I finally let my feelings show that I never stopped loving him, the girl he cheated on me with showed up and when I stormed off he didn't follow me but when she did, he followed and then he got angry at me for calling Jeremy to pick me up because it was late at night and raining but he didn't care because he was jealous because I use to date Jeremy but broke up with him because I still loved Shawn and we stayed friends and now we haven't been speaking which leads me to here, and I left out many fights and hard nights and hard shit because I have probably already scared the shit out of you," I say and I don't even realise that I'm bailing crying at this point.

"I'm still here," Jaiden says holding my hand.