The long way home || Shawn Mendes||

37

"I'm glad you came, the last month and a bit have been great and my family loved you," Danny says dropping me off at the airport.

"I'm glad I came to, it has been great getting away from everything, and Texas is great, I can't believe you grew up here," I saw as Jeremy walks me security.

"Yeah it was amazing but Squid is going to have just as good of a childhood," Danny says giving me a hug, "But I do think you are crazy for not wanting to find out if it is a girl or a boy."

"I want that moment of finally finding out and instantly knowing Squids name if I find out sooner I will just be stressing over the perfect name and I'm not meant to be stressing," I smile.

"I'll see you soon Al," Danny says.

"See you soon Danny," I say and I go through security.

I can't believe it's nearly march and I have been pregnant for only 3 months, it's felt like a life time and I'm only a third of the way through. I already look so fat and I'm only going to get bigger and I can't wait.

I land back in Toronto and my head already feels like I'm going to explode. There is only 6 months until Squid's arrival and I still have so much to do. I have to find an apartment, buy so many things, baby proof, pack a hospital bag, read so many books and blogs to give me some idea on what to do, I also need to find a new job because babies are expensive and I feel like there is no time to do anything.

"Hey," Jeremy smiles as I walk out of the airport.

"Hey," I smile running over to him and giving him a hug.

"How was Texas?" Jeremy asks as I get in his car.

"Amazing, I think we went to at least two American Football games a week, It was so good," I smile, "How's everything been here?"

"Well Shawn has," Jeremy says but then stops.

"Shawn has what?" I ask.

"He is defiantly trying to get across that he's sorry, he has texted and called nearly everyone in your contacts to try get a hold of you, he has gotten #ForgiveMeAlex on twitter and Instagram. He has written so many letters to you Ollie said she has a stack of them in her apartment. He cancelled the rest of tour, and tonight he is going on Jimmy Fallon but nobody knows why," Jeremy says.

"Oh my god," I say putting my hands over my face, "I Can't believe him."

"I think you should talk to him, after all you are having his baby," Jeremy says.

"I know," I say.

Jeremy drops me off at home and I text Shawn saying that I want to talk with him later, I then get in the bath, I read some baby books which stress's me out and I know I need to find a job soon because my savings aren't going to last long. When I get out I put on a white top and blue dungarees. I then curl my hair and I put on a little make up. I slip on some boots and a jumper. I take out my laptop and I start looking through my emails when I find one with a job offer which makes me scream so loud.

"What?" Ollie yells running out of her room and walking over to me on the couch.

"I got a job offer," I smile.

"For what?" Ollie says excitedly sitting down beside me.

"I don't know I haven't opened it yet," I say.

"Well then open it, open it," Ollie says excitedly and I click on the Email.

'Dear Miss Jones,

We have seen some of your photography work and we would love to have you apart of our team. We think you would fit in perfectly.

We have heard about your pregnancy and know it is hard and we will be there to support you fully.

If you are interested please let us know and we can set up a meeting.

sincerely,

Megan Henderson,

E&B photography.'

"Oh my god E&B photography wants you," Ollie says jumping up excitedly, "You have wanted to work for them since I met you."

"I can't believe this, I think I might cry," I say standing up and hugging Ollie.

"Aww baby," Ollie says, "email them back quickly."

I email them back saying that I would love to work for them and to let me know a date that would work for them to set up a meeting for. I then check my watch and see that I should really go if I don't want to be late to see Shawn.

I put on a good few more layers since it's February in Canada so it's freezing and then I head to Tim's. When I walk in I see Shawn sitting at a table with two drinks.

"I got you a hot chocolate," Shawn says as I sit down.

"Thanks," I say not knowing how to talk to him anymore it's like he's a different person.

"Alex," Shawn says but stops not knowing what to say.

"I got a job offer," I say after a while.

"That's great Alex," Shawn says.

"I want you to be in Squid's life, Squid deserves both parents, but I can't live with you, It would be to complicated, I love you but sometimes love isn't enough, and people that love each other aren't always meant to be together, and when we start dating other people it would just get to weird and we would start to loath each other," I say.

"I get it," Shawn says.

"We will figure out how to fit into each other's lives for squid," I say.

"So what does this mean for now?" Shawn asks.

"You can come to doctor appointments for now and we will see about other things, I just need to figure out how to trust you again," I say, "I have to go," I say standing up.

"Please don't go," Shawn says.

"Bye Shawn," I say walking out and getting into my car.

I lean my head back and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. I drive home and I start looking for apartments for squid and I.