You repel me (Johnny x reader)

Johnny C.

I don't know why she was the way she was with me. I don't deserve her care of me. I honestly don't believe that I deserve anything Y/N gives me. I'm afraid of hurting her as I did to Devi. 

"God, what the hell is wrong with me.."

I said under my breath, putting my head in my hands. 

Everythings has been quieter around here since I met Y/N. I don't here the psycho doughboys as much, neither nail bunny. Of course, they came back that one night I tried to kill myself but it all went away when I went to Y/N's place.

I wanted to keep her safe and happy, that's all I wanted. Getting rid of the girl that spilled that coffee onto her was the least of her problems. But it was my top priority. 

Of course, I still had to paint the wall and get rid of her body but that could wait for another day. 

I walked to my room, searching through my cabinets and under my bed too. I stared at myself in the cracked mirror, studying my features.

What went wrong?

I ignored my own question before reaching my arm under the bed. I felt the wooden box so I pulled it out.

I unlocked the small box, staring at its contents. 

When Y/N spoke to me about her feelings about being watched and how her house was broken into was a bit nerve-racking to me. I didn't want her to be scared of living in her own house or going out of it, that wasn't my intentions. When I broke into her house, I just wanted to make sure she was okay! That's all I wanted! I didn't intend to scare her!

I took her phone mostly to check up on her and what she likes. When she got her new phone, she thought she was deactivating her old one.

But everything was still on the cloud.

I unlocked her phone, her password being a simple 182410. I stared at her text messages, nothing out of the ordinary. She had texted Devi in the morning that she would pick her up when for work and she didn't have a choice. Devi didn't respond of course, so I just went to her other text messages.

She wasn't talking to any other boys, so that was good. She really didn't have many friends aside from Devi. I went onto her social media and saw the pictures she posted and the pictures she's liked. She looked beautiful in all the pictures she took so I had no reason to question why she had so many likes on her pictures.

I went over to her gallery and saw all the pictures she's taken. She was absolutely breath-taking, her voice could make flowers grow. I scrolled down to see a picture she had taken of me. We were in the coffee shop and we were sitting in the tables outside. I was playing around with my straw, staring at the cup. I thought she was fumbling around with her phone that day, I didn't know that she was taking a picture of me. I found it quite cute and I couldn't help but smile. 

I saw Devi had texted Y/N so I went over to the messages. 

What happens when you don't come outside to get sunlight?

It took a couple of seconds before Y/N's respond came up

Dev, go outside.

I shut off her phone and sat on the edge of my bed. I stared at the floor below me, picturing all I have done in that basement. 

I heard my phone ringing from the living room. I got up and walked over there, dragging my feet slightly. I picked it up slowly, most likely expecting a scam.

"Hey, Nny."

I was filled to the brim with joy. I had forgotten that she had gotten my phone number so this was a nice surprise,