Alone Together (Gallavich)

seventeen

mickey

"Jesus Christ Mick turn the fucking music down!"

Mandy yelled over the speakers in my bedroom.

"What? Can't hear you!" I yelled back, pointing at my ears to exaggerate even more.

Mandy just scoffed, rolled her eyes and slammed my door behind her as she went back into the hallway. I finished the can of beer I was on, let out a nice burp and then chucked the empty can across the room. It landed where the rest had, in the forming pile next to the overflowing garbage bin. Instead of grabbing another one, I decided on a cigarette. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the box and the lighter.

I took the first puff and leaned my head back against the headboard behind me. My body instantly relaxed with the drag. It felt good. I haven't been able to do that a lot the past week since Ian kicked me out, relax, ya know?

It was weird. I found myself actually missing that stupid house and all those nosy chaotic kids running around. And not like an "awe that was so nice" kind of missing. It was more of a "shit how the hell did that disappear so fast" kind of miss it. Of course that thought brought me to Ian specifically again, how he kicked me out after I defended him. I get that some shit went down for him in the store but beating the living daylights out of that prick til his blood was splattered all over the counter and he was whimpering like a fucking dog was exactly what he deserved. If anything, I was going easy on him. Wasn't that obvious? I mean I know I can be fucking out of hand sometimes but it seemed like a better outcome for that towel head than prison for the rest of his life for being a fuckin pedo. Why didn't Ian see that?

My bedroom door flung open and my sister found her spot back in the doorway once again.
"The fuck do you want now?!" I yelled over the speakers, incredibly agitated at this point. She looked serious though, like she wasn't going to stop me from blasting my music or drinking myself to sleep, but more like she just needed my attention for a second.

I got up from my bed, taking another drag from my cigarette before shutting off my music and waiting for her to continue. She opened her mouth but before she could say anything, a familiar man appeared behind her.

Lip's face looked just as concerned and serious as my sister's had. My heart stopped. It had to be about Ian. And by the looks of it, it wasn't good. I put my cigarette out on the ashtray next to my bed to try and take my mind off of anything irrational before either of the two people in my doorway spoke up to explain.

"Mickey what happened?" Lip started.
I sighed and sat on my bed, rubbing my hand across my mouth in frustration.

"The fuck is it always my fault for?"

"I'm not saying it's your fault," he continued, moving past Mandy and standing in front of me while I sat, making me feel weak and out of control of the conversation. I stood up, trying to match Ian's brother's presence.

"Whatchyou sayin then?"

"Let him fucking talk Mick," Mandy piped in, clearly anxious.

I just stared at Lip, waiting for him to explain why he was here, even though a part of me didn't want to hear it.

"Ian hasn't gotten out of bed since you left. He won't talk to anyone or even look at anyone. God knows if he's fucking eating when we're not home but he certainly won't take any food from us when we're there. He just sleeps all day or lays there staring at the fucking wall with his sheets pulled up to his nose. Something's not right and I'm not blaming it on you but-"

"But you think it's because of me?"

"No, look Mickey-"

"First off, your brother kicked me out, okay? He told me to leave, I didn't just walk away."
I kept my voice calm while talking, knowing that yelling or arguing wasn't gonna help the situation; wasn't gonna help Ian. But man my mind was fucking racing and my heart didn't feel much calmer.