Alone Together (Gallavich)

seven

mickey

I didn't want to stop. I didn't want him to stop. It was everything I had thought about for the past two weeks; his lips, his hands, the passion and care behind it all.

But that's not me. I am not like Ian. This is not part of who I am or what I'm allowed to be. This is something that needs to be hidden and locked away. I got what my body needed for now - it was time to move on.

"What the fuck Mickey!"

Guess Mandy's back.

I wiped my eyes one last time and got up from my bed, standing on the other side of it with my back to the doorway that now occupied my sister.

"Mickey what the hell did you do? I told you to leave Ian alone you douche!"

"Leave me alone Mandy," I sniffled out quietly, trying not to let her have any clues as to what had gone down.

"Are you crying? Dude what the fuck is going on?"

"I said leave me the fuck alone!" The power of my scream and the suddenness of turning around must have sent the message that I was not in the mood. Mandy looked at me, surrendering but still angry, and threw the bag of medical supplies down onto my floor before turning out the door, slamming it behind her as she left.

Shit, I whispered under my breath as I took a seat back down on the edge of the bed, rubbing my eyes with my palms.

Nothing happened. That's how it'll be from now on. I let the exhaustion of my fight in the alley come over me. That was all. Nothing happened.

ian

When I got home, I was met by Fiona who was sitting at the kitchen counter, looking at something on the laptop. I tried to slip up the stairs to my room unnoticed but failed miserably.

"Woah woah Ian, what happened?"

"Nothing Fiona. Don't worry about it."

"Alright well you're crying and look like you just saw a ghost so I'm gonna worry about it."

I couldn't hold myself back, no matter how hard I tried. Moving away from the stairwell, I walked slowly over to Fiona, letting all my weight fall into her arms as I sobbed.

"I'm so stupid, ya know? I just tried to do what felt right and it all fell apart," I cried into her shoulder. "I didn't ask for this shit Fiona. I never wanted it."

She just held me tighter, one hand on my back, the other holding my head. I could tell she wasn't going to push any further, but part of me knew that she didn't need to. She understood what I meant.

I had told her what happened when Mickey ran into our house that night. Carl mentioned it at dinner to everyone, how "Ian was friends with Terry Milkovich's son," him clearly not over the stardom of Terry in the south side crime scene. Of course Fiona asked for clarification, so I told her about Mickey coming into the house, trying to kill me for not wanting to hook up with Mandy, leaving out any specifics about why I rejected her or what happened right before Carl came in. Lip made some snarky comment about Mandy and how she was always trying to get with him, but Fiona just kept her eyes on me. I clearly was leaving out details, uncomfortable with the topic of conversation. Fiona was never an idiot when it comes to our emotions. Yes, sometimes she overestimated her ability to understand a situation perfectly, but she was never oblivious to our happiness, or lack thereof. She practically raised us, needing to know how we felt. When Monica was still around, she was the one who had to monitor her behavior, not Frank or Monica's parents. It was up to Fiona.

I think she knew I was gay. We never talked about it to the point where I could confirm or deny it, but like I said, she wasn't an idiot. Girls were never a topic of conversation, and whenever they started to become one, I tried to change the subject immediately.

Now, I wasn't sure if she knew that I was crying over Mickey or that something happened with Mickey, but she knew I was at Mandy's and she had been making me update her on Mickey each time I got back from the Milkovich's to make sure I wasn't being threatened again. She knew it upset me that he left every time I was there. She knew I secretly wished he stuck around, that I wasn't in danger anymore. Fiona wasn't an idiot.

So she didn't push or pry further. She simply stood there with me crying into her shoulder, holding me and occasionally whispering that it was going to be okay.

Eventually, she squeezed me one last time before pulling away, keeping her hands on my arms.

"You're gonna figure it out Ian, I promise. It's in your blood to deal with shit, no matter what the circumstances."

I nodded my head, smiling a little to let her know I heard her words and appreciated them, and walked up the stairs to my bedroom, ready to sleep off the day despite it only being 3 o'clock.

AN: I know this was a pretty short chapter compared to the others so far. I just wanted to close off the situation from the last chapter before moving into the next major part of the plot. Hopefully this hasn't been a cringey cheesy mess so far. No one has read the story yet while I'm typing this so I don't really have any feedback to go off of. Anyway, hope you're enjoying the story and are excited for the return of Shameless this month. Gallavich wedding is finally happening folks!! THE NEXT PART IS HEAVY so please move on with caution. 💗