Who's the Clown now? || Hisoka x Reader ||

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

After Leorio had run into us, Hisoka never appeared in front of my eyes again. At least till the point where we all made it to the end of the jungle. I looked around me, desperately searching for him. Only half of us survived...
He was nowhere to be found. Killua and Gon united after being split up by the fog. Kurapika showed up behind the two, and also Leorio and me decided to join them.

I stared loosing myself in my thoughts once again, analyzing the former situation with Hisoka.

After Hisoka left, Leorio asked what I did, and if I was hurt.

He asked concerned, and with clear fear in his eyes, but I couldn't bare the fact that he ruined it. The moment, that was I hoped was going to change me. I know that sounds childish. Maybe bitchy. Or even just girlish. But my heart does something weird whenever I see Hisoka around. When he's close to me, I feel...comforted, maybe happy. Safe. Only he can make me feel that way. Sure, I might not know him well. I might've just talked to him once or twice before. He's maybe in a relationship. Maybe married. I don't care. I will except it either way.

Tears start falling down my eyes, as I only think about him being with someone else. Anger rises up within me, and my breathing gets uncontrolled. He cant...he was about to kiss me. He's not with someone. He belongs to me, and me only. I swear I will make him mine...
A weird, suspicious grin spread across my face, as I accidentally released my usual dark and blood lusting aura. Although it wasn't much, I was clearly able to identify the effect it had on some people. I saw Killua and Gon turn around nervously, trying to locate the nucleus of their sudden fear. Also Hanzo, the bald ninja guy, turned around himself, slightly shivering. I never actually took a close look at him. His ankles and arms were covered with bandages, and he always had a pretty serious, but confident expression on his face. His clothes were all black, but the overall style reminded me of...fuck. Hisoka.

I rapidly turned 180 degrees as I noticed Illumis aura approaching me from behind. Wow, he didn't forget. I smiled. We used to communicate through releasing tiny bits of aura. It worked similar to Morse code. Though unintended, I send out something like "Hi" 4 short, pause, 2 short. He answered with an abbreviation for "Piss off" 1 short 2 long 1 short, pause, 3 long. (P,O) I shook my head as I saw him turn his back to me and walk of, away from the group. He was the only one who was able to directly locate that it was me who released the aura. Including Hisoka and me, that's only 3 people who know Nen. I'm surprised...

As Satotz announced the accomplishment of the very first Hunter Exam, everyone gathered around him, desperately waiting for new information. Due to my rather small size, and the fact that the chattering amongst everyone was deafening, I climbed up a nearby tree in order to have a slight understanding of what's going on. Although I might be smart, I'm not necessarily good at reading situations involving a large amount of people. That's also why father never involves me in genocide or large group eradications.
From up here, I was able to count the exact number of survivors. 148...

It started to concern me, that I wasn't able to find Hisoka from up here either. Does that mean...that he didn't...make it?
I gulped at the thought of him lying deep in the jungle, getting fed on by one of the monstrous Turtles.

I was just starting to imagine the absolute worts-case scenarios, when I heard a voice, not far away, whispering something. Listening more closely I identified it as my brothers. Following just the hushed fractions of his words, I followed a short path though leaves and branches, locating Illumi. I looked down, seeing him talking into a phone. Weren't they confiscated at the very start of the exam to avoid recordings...? And who's he talking to? Dad? I asked myself. I couldn't understand anything specific and the call didn't seem interesting in any way or form, so I turned around, ready to head back to the others. The phone call seemed to be close to ending, as I overheard my name being mentioned. I hesitated. Shifting my body back into Illumi's direction I listened carefully:

"Yeah like I said. Distract her. I don't care how you're able to do it, but pretending you have feelings for her seems to be working rather well." Chuckles from Illumi's side as he heard the response. Was he talking to...no impossible!!

"When I'll kill her? I'm waiting for the perfect moment. Dad had his fingers in the upcoming second exam, I'm sure there will be an opportunity." Kill...me? What's he talking about?
Again Illumi chuckled. "Oh yeah, she has no idea" Hysteric laughter. "Be sure to keep it that way, will ya Hisoka?"

Call ended.

Illumi went back to the group, who were currently being introduced to the new examiners. But I stayed where I was, tears running down my face.

Brother, what...sob...what have I done? Why would you ever intend to kill me? Me tears burned like acid on my skin. Why...why would you every include HIM? My thoughts ran like a wild beats, eager for food. Hisoka...why are you joining him? He's evil. The devil himself...

How could I ever trust you...
Hisoka...
Why?

—> TIME SKIP <—

The next exam was about cooking. Something I was absolutely terrible at. My dumbass even manages to burn ramen.

So, my unenthusiastic self wasn't at all exited, when it was announced that we were going hunting. I didn't care anymore if I failed the exam. My thoughts were cloudy, my head spun, and my eyes were suffused with a blood-like red from crying. How did I ever manage to get so weak?

Exerting my deep sadness with curse words and aggression, I killed the first person I saw carrying such a god damn pig. I didn't even bother to make it look like an accident, I just left the corpse where it was, and went on to grilling this damn thing.

Not concentrating what so ever, I let it burn. My eyes were fixed on Hisoka, who appeared back with the group the moment I returned. Well now I know what took you so long. Intentionally releasing all my dark, cold blooded aura on him, his head spun around, revealing his breathtaking eyes. My heart skipped a beat when I heard his chuckle, and my face flushed red. Fuck!! Shit!!! Damn no fuck...why?!?!?!!

Being a completely lost idiot, the pig aside to me started catching fire. Killua spotted it first and rushed over to me, taking a pot of water assembled with each cooking station, and extinguishing the fire. Nervously, and visually embarrassed, I thanked him and apologized simultaneously. He just smiled, but got closer to me as he did. Whispering in my ear, he said something, that cleared all my worries away at once, and caused me to cry once again...