My Villain

Chapter Forty-Two

He doesn't know if it is normal to fear something when he still cannot see it and yet drive towards it head-on without even giving it a second thought.

DiDi told himself before all this that he is going to re-introduce himself as a "friend" to her but it seems that he just cannot keep himself from outright flirting with her no matter how he tries not to.

And now, it seems he has made it awkward for Yue.

He wanted to say sorry but found himself transfixed... just looking at her.

This is only the second time he is able to observe her features so closely and both times she had her eyes closed.

He stopped his hands from reaching over and smoothing out the crease in her forehead or playing with her nose or rubbing her cheeks or maybe even touching her lips.

It took too much of his self-control so he stopped staring at her and stared back at the night sky.

He knows the temptation would be too great and he just might kiss her right then and there.

And that would scare her, he is sure.

Looking at him eye to eye already had her cowering back, what more if he even dared to touch her lips?

"Pace yourself, man. Pace yourself" he repeated in his head.

He has to gain her trust first. He has to become a friend of hers first. He has to show her who he really is first.

There are still a lot of "firsts" that need to happen.

He closed his eyes because he is sure that his eyes would just go back to her face and that was not good for his "nearly extinct self-control".

And thinking of kissing her made him start to think of that one amazing kiss they had.

Granted. He was angry. She was angry. It came out of nowhere. But that kiss had so much electricity it could light up half of China.

His lips touched hers and he just had to dive in and greedily go after more.

She was so soft against him inspite of her shock and anger, so heart-achingly sweet, and –

"PACE YOURSELF! PACE YOURSELF! PACE YOURSELF!", his brain rapidly reminded him, "STOP GOING THERE AND PACE YOURSELF!"

He took a deep breath and conjured up an image of Zi Wei telling him to take yoga classes with her so he could learn to calm down.

Isn't it crazy how he could not wait to take this woman out of his life and now... all he wants is to be near her?

So near that the every time she breathes, he would feel it right across his lips.

It's supposed to scare him how much he wants her and really, when on his own, it does scare him.

But face to face, all of his fears just go away.

What he wants instead is to go after her.

He wants her to be around him all the time, if possible.

He craves her presence the way some girls crave chocolate on their periods – like it is a life-saver, like it is going to change their whole life, like it is going to take away the pain.

And when he arrived and saw her sprawled all over the sofa with Xin, he just wanted to sit beside her and breathe in the same air she was breathing.

Whatever the hell this is...... it.......

It is making his heart jump.

It is pumping up his blood.