Unloved (Eric x OC Divergent)

Part XIII: The Absence

-Florence POV-

I wake up in an empty bed, the spot next to me is cold, I realize that Eric must have left a while ago. I get up and walk around the apartment, hoping I might find him making breakfast or taking a shower, but everything is still dark and he's nowhere to be found. I feel a knot form in my stomach, but try to ignore it as I look around for clues as to where he might be. It doesn't take long for me to find a note on the bathroom mirror, saying:  I'm at work.
The knot in my stomach doesn't go away, but I try to make myself believe that this reason is plausible enough for him to leave me without even saying goodbye, I return to the bathroom to get dressed and decide to go down to the Pit for breakfast, hoping I might find him there.

Four waves me over the moment I walk in, motioning for me to sit down next to him as he hands me an apple from his plate and pours me some coffee. His demeanor has changed so much since he found his love in Tris and it makes me happy to see him like this, the smiles on his face are much more frequent and his eyes spark a bit more than before. 
"No Eric today?" He mumbles with a mouth full of muffin.
"No he had to go in to work." I answer, feeling the knot in my stomach tightening even more, but I push the feeling down as much as I can and sip the coffee Four gave me.
"This early? Why? The initiates will be in the fear landscape all day today." He probably doesn't know the effect his words have on me, as he takes another bite of his muffin, not paying attention to the expression on my face, luckily. 
"Must be something else than." I play it off casually, taking a bite out of my apple and then move the conversation onto something else quickly. I ask about the fear landscapes this year and Four bursts in to a monologue about all of the unusual fears he has seen so far, just what I needed, I think as I nod along with him. He talks until it's time for him to leave for another day of monitoring the fear landscapes, giving me a quick hug before he walks off. 

Even though it's not my shift today I decide to go into the infirmary anyway, I figure I'll find something to do to get my mind off of the feeling that is rapidly increasing in my stomach. I walk in to find Shauna doing inventory and she waves at me to come join her.
"You're not on today, what are you doing here?" She asks, her eyebrows raised.
"Got bored and this place would probably fall apart if I stayed away any longer." I joke as I try to mask my real reason for being here. "No Eric then?" she asks, being the second one today to notice the absence of him. I shrug it off with the same excuse I gave Four and she seems to accept it, moving on to tell me about inventory and we work together on organizing everything until it's time for our lunch break.

We take our break together with Zeke in the Pit, after standing in line for what seems forever I manage to grab some eggs and toast and slide into the seat next to Shauna. We make some small talk, mostly about the upcoming party to celebrate the initiates becoming fully-fledged members, while I push food around on my plate not able to work up or even fake an appetite at this point. I half-listen to Zeke go on about the amazing music he will be playing at the party, trying to nod and react whenever he leaves a dramatic pause to do so. I can't seem to keep my head together long enough to be a good conversationalist at the moment, but Zeke and Shauna don't seem to notice as they're completely lost in their own conversation.

My heart plummets when I look up from my plate to see Eric walk in to the Pit, accompanied by some other leaders, Max among them. He spots me immediately, but then looks away quickly and hurriedly takes a seat at the table his colleagues sit down at, apparently deep in conversation about something. His eyes meet mine again shortly after, as I still haven't been able to look away, trying to understand what's happening here. Why isn't he looking at me?
I can't wrap my head around this situation, he could at least wave, right? I feel my stomach turn and I feel sick, my body reacting to my confusion in a way I can't comprehend. Shauna doesn't take long to notice, laying her hand on mine, asking me what's wrong with a worried look in her eyes. When her eyes dart across the room to see Eric sitting there, ignoring us and especially me, she seems to read the situation perfectly. "Zeke, you'll clean up for us right?" She states more than questions and then grabs my hand to pull me along, back to the infirmary.

She pushes me in to one of the empty rooms and closes the door behind us, the worried look still in her eyes as she makes me sit down on the bed and jumps up next to me. "Flo, you need to tell me what's going on." Her voice is stern and I know I won't get off with a joke or an excuse this time. "I don't even understand it myself", I mutter as I pull my knees up and put my arms around them, making myself as small as I possibly can. Shauna pulls me close to her and she makes me realize just how much I need to talk to her about this, I really want to talk to her about this. 
"Just try for me, OK?" her voice is comforting. I draw a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, when I fail to do so I start talking to her anyway. Starting at the beginning, trying to make sense of the situation still while Shauna is silent beside me, listening to every word I say.

I tell her about the first night, about seeing Eric so vulnerable and the moment I realized I cared about him more than I thought I did before, something she apparently already knew about before me, I notice as she smiles at my statement about being surprised about the way I felt towards him. I tell her about the talks we've had and the worries I have, still vividly knowing something has damaged him before he even came to Dauntless. I tell her about his apartment, about the holes in the wall and all of the destroyed things that make up his home, making her nod as if she expected my words, as if it confirms something she had guessed many times. I share my feelings towards letting him go back to that hellhole and why he has moved in with me, steadily realizing why I've been feeling this knot in my stomach and I feel my breath get stuck in my throat. Then all that's left is to tell her about last night, I explain the horrible nightmare and the way he reacted to it after I woke him up. I tell her about him shutting me out, leaving very little room for me to help or comfort him. 

And there it is.
The realization hits me like a brick wall. "Shauna he's shutting me out." The words leave my mouth as I tell myself and her I finally know what this situation is, I feel my stomach turn again and tears well up into my eyes. I look at Shauna completely dumbfounded by this conclusion, not able to believe this is actually happening, not wanting to. "Why is he shutting me out?" I yell halfheartedly, not really asking her more than I'm asking myself. Her arms pull me close, trying to calm me down, sighing deep before she collects the right words to say.
"He's scared Flo." I feel her words hit hard, but I know she's right and I'm not able to hold my tears back, letting out a deep sob. I put my head into my knees and take deep breaths, trying to calm myself down and collect my thoughts. Shauna's hand is comforting as she keeps it still around me, keeping me steady, keeping me from freaking out even more than I already am right now.

It takes me a few minutes to come back to my senses, but eventually I do and I look up at Shauna as the next big question hits me.
"What do I do?" I ask the only person I would trust to give me an honest answer and I see determination in her face as she comes up with her response. "You give him space Flo, he will come around" she states wisely, instilling a bit of hope back into me. I sigh deeply and mull the words over, knowing she is absolutely and undoubtedly right. 
I give her a big hug and thank her for being my best friend as she makes me go home to get some rest, as if she already knew what was going to happen next. 

When I get to my apartment I intuitively look around to see if Eric came home, but he didn't, confirming my earlier conversation with Shauna with this harsh truth. He's shutting me out.
I don't know what to do with myself other than lay on the couch and try to read a book, but the words don't seem to register and I end up closing the book after a few minutes, putting it down on the coffee table. I decide to try to take a nap and close my eyes to drift off into an uneasy sleep, plagued by a gut-wrenching feeling something is going to go wrong. 

It's dark outside when I feel Shauna shake me, yelling at me to wake up with a familiar urgency. 
"Flo, you need to come with me. NOW!"