Unloved (Eric x OC Divergent)

Part III: The Initiate

After I tell Four roughly what happened, leaving out the parts about Eric I can't divulge, he's just as confused as I had been. I look up at him to see he's speechless, an angered expression on his face.

"He's supposed to supervise the initiates this year Flo" he sighs and I sigh with him. I know what he's worried about, Eric has been trying to change the rules of the initiation for months now, trying to turn it into some kind of gauntlet, where weaker initiates won't even get the chance to train to get better, but will be beaten to a pulp in their first fights. Enforcing his "fight until you can't anymore" rule was his biggest priority and I'm afraid he has won Max over now. "I'll keep an eye out Four, if we keep our wits about us he won't be able to do a lot of damage" I say, trying to convince Four, but also myself.

I try to lighten the mood and steal the apple he has placed in front of him, taking a big bite and putting on my most innocent face. He chuckles and utters a comment on how lazy I am, always stealing food from other people's plates, which makes me prowl and bat my eyelids at him, to show just how innocent I am. Four laughs and shakes his head, "can't believe I'm stuck with you being my best friend" he mutters. I smile and reply "can't believe you're that lucky huh!" and poke him in the side. We laugh together until Four realizes what time it is and he jumps up, "time to meet the new initiates Flo" if I didn't know better I would have thought he was excited for the new initiates, but I know he just likes keeping himself busy. I tell him good luck and head towards the infirmary to prepare for the wave of minor injuries we will be encountering the next few weeks.

When I get to the infirmary I get dressed in my usual black scrubs and pull my hair up in a ponytail, I glance at myself in the mirror and smile at my own reflection, I like how I look and I'm not selfconscious about it. It's something I haven't let go from my previous faction and I'm not planning to do so anytime soon. "Spreading kindness starts with being kind to yourself", it's a sentence I've heard my dad say so many times I find myself going back to it time and time again. My dad was kind and smart, truely good to the core, in his legacy I've been trying my best everyday to spread the kindness he taught me, hoping ot make everyone feel at least a bit of the warmth he instilled so deeply in me. "I miss you dad" I whisper, as I hold the locket containing the only picture I have of him.

Amity was not an option for me after he died. Everything there reminded me of him and everyone kept telling me how much I looked like him, acted like him, up until the point where I just couldn't take it anymore. Coping mechanisms in Amity are vastly different to how people handle deaths here in Dauntless. Where we drink ourselves into oblivion until we're not sure we're even alive anymore ourselves, Amity keep pressing on the 'celebrating life' aspect, playing songs about the deceased. Singing songs about my dad and his life, and his death, like ripping the wound open over and over again. I turned 16 a few months after he died and left Amity without ever looking back. I wasn't sure which faction was the one for me, but I knew I would be happier anywhere else. 

The day of the choosing ceremony I hovered my hand above the water, asking myself if I valued knowledge like Erudite did, becoming a doctor would be something I was interested in, but I soon realised that becoming a nose would mean working with data and science, not with the actual people needing and receiving treatment, there would be no warmth to spread through cold data and science and I quickly hovered my hand above the coals, letting a drop of blood sizzle and hearing the dauntless roar in excitement. It was right there and then I knew I had made the right choice, I would find my way in this crowd of dark-clothed, loud-mouthed and passionate human beings. Never would I have expected how right I was at the time.