Unloved (Eric x OC Divergent)

Part XVII: The Scars

-Florence-

"I went to Erudite."

The words don't seem to anger him as I thought they would. His arms stay around me, but I feel his breath get faster, his heart rate rising under my hands. I pull myself closer to him and try to calm him down . He doesn't ask more, I think he know what I did. I can feel myself holding my breath in anticipation of an outburst, but it doesn't come. Eric stays quiet for a bit, just resting his head on mine, before he says: "Can we go home please?" He looks down at me with an expression I can't read, but I nod in agreement, I want him home safely before we dive into this.

He takes my hand and we walk past Shauna on our way out. I pull on Eric's hand to stop him from dragging me out as I turn to Shauna to tell her I'm taking him home and thank her for her amazing care. She gets a quick chance to hug me before Eric runs out of patience and starts dragging me out again, walking towards our apartment faster than my feet can actually walk. I'm still not sure if he's angry or just scared, but I guess I'll find out in a few moments. 

When we come to our front door I quickly open it, just to have Eric storm past me like he needs shelter from something or someone. He's scared, the thought makes me more awake, it heightens my senses as I walk in behind him and close the door. I feel myself hoping we can get through this before his emotions turn him into something so destructive again.
He's pacing up and down our living room and I let him, this doesn't seem like a good time to tell him what he can and cannot do. I walk towards our bedroom to grab the blanket and walk back towards the couch, nestling myself in for what I know is going to be a rough time. 

"Eric talk to me, what are you thinking about?" He looks up to me, but keeps pacing, not able to keep still. "I don't know" his answer is fast and deflective, he looks away from me again as he keeps on pacing a hole in our carpet. "I don't believe that" my words come out with a certainty that even surprises myself. It stays quiet for a while. I decide to press on a bit more.
"What are you feeling?" It's a shot in the dark, but I might as well try now I'm already neck deep in it. I see his jaw clench, he balls his fists. I'm just about sure I'm not going to get an answer when I hear a sound come from him. "I..." the words don't seem to find him like he wants to, so I give him space to work out what he's trying to say. "I'm so nervous Florence." Anxiety is written all over his face when he looks at me again, I'm 99% sure he is going to burst out in flames, that's how tense he looks, but he's trying to keep it together.

"What are you nervous about?" I try to state my questions as calmly as I possibly can, I don't want to pressure him or make him feel more scared than he already is. I need him to talk to me though, we can get through this if he would just talk to me. He lets out a nervous sigh and smiles a very nervous smile before running his hands along his neck feverishly and answering me: "I'm nervous about what you think of me now." What?
"I still think of you the same way I thought of you before I went to Erudite." I think he can read how clueless I am about his worries, because he quickly follows up with another statement. "You probably think I'm weak." His words make my head spin, I might have been clueless a mere few seconds ago, but I know what this is about now. "You think I'll find you weak? The only thing I realized is how strong you must be to not have fallen apart completely by now Eric. Are you shitting me?" My words sound more angry than I meant for them to sound, but I mean them nonetheless. They make him stop and stare at me in disbelief, like I just said something incredibly stupid. 

"Eric, sit down with me please." My words come out commanding, I mean for them to.
Even though I didn't think he would, he walks to the couch without second thought, not looking up at me. I lift the blanket up for him and he sits down next to me silently, he hasn't responded to my harsh words and it's starting to worry me. I'm sitting facing towards him, my legs pulled up underneath me, waiting for him to say something, anything. His elbows are on his knees, leaning forward as if he wants to be able to run away at any given moment, the whole demeanor is unsettling to me.