Unloved (Eric x OC Divergent)

Part XXI: The Patience

-Florence-

The party kind of died down for me after Jake came up and scared me for the second time, waking up a storm of memories in me I can't seem to let die down again. Most of the time I can, but whatever it is he triggered, I can't shake it. After finishing my last drink, I tell Eric I'm going home, adding that he can stay and carry on if he wants to, which I know he won't. He downs his drink in a few seconds as I say goodbye to our friends, thanking them for a great night. Eric takes my hand soon after and we walk to our apartment. 

I can see Eric is contemplating something, but he keeps silent during our walk, I can't really put my finger on why. I think he must have gotten rid of his anger quite effectively by punching Jake after Four took him away, so what is he thinking of? He looks down at me a few times, deep in thought, while he holds my hand close to him. I smile at him, but he doesn't take the bait, his thoughts still taking over. When we reach our apartment, he silently takes out his keys and opens the door for me. I walk in and he follows, quickly closing the door.

He lingers a few feet behind me while I grab a bottle of water, setting it to my lips as I observe him, still trying to figure out what he's thinking of. I can't come up with anything, this night went fine as far as I know, except from the Jake of it, but I thought that was solved. My curiosity gets the best of me eventually, I can't keep silent for this long around him. "Eric, what are you thinking about?" This wakes him up, his eyes lock on mine instantly. He comes closer to me and puts his arms around my waist, still looking down at me when he asks: "Why did you not punch that guy?" He looks as surprised about his question as I am, but his thoughts suddenly clear up for me. He noticed.

I try to shrug it off. "He caught me off guard." But I see Eric is not having any of my deflections today, and he's right to feel that way, I've been testing his patience about this for quite a while now. "He didn't catch you off guard twice Florence, I don't think you're honest with me." His voice sounds like he's disappointed in me. I understand. I've been asking so much of him in terms of opening up and being honest, I haven't exactly been practicing what I preach. When I told him we had both been through shit, I know he picked up on it, he let me know when he saw my heart tattoo, asking about the things that broke my heart before him. I owe him some form of truth about this, he's true.

"He triggered a few bad memories." I gulp in a deep breath after I let the words drop, it feels like I've swallowed a stone. He can't know this. He'll lose it. Even though he might think he wants to know, I'm sure he'll freak out when he does, so I try to water my statement down quickly. "It's okay now, I'll manage." Eric lets out a frustrated sigh, his eyes fixate on mine, I can see hurt flash across them as he looks for words to say or another question to ask me. "What memories?"
His statement is simple and effective, it makes me gasp for breath again. He notices my discomfort and picks me up to set me on the kitchen counter, placing his hands besides me, his face now level with mine. "You need to tell me Florence." I want to disagree, I'm clasping my hands in my lap, desperately trying to find another way out of this. But I can't. "It's bad, you're going to freak out." My last effort to get out of this is to issue him a warning, but he shrugs it off, now even more concerned about my secrets. His hands grab on to my hips, as if to keep me steady when I tell him one of the worst secrets I could ever share with him.

I don't know how to form words anymore, I find myself looking for syllables to put together, anything to form a coherent story, afraid of how hard this is going to hit Eric. "Just say it Florence." His eyes are set on mine, softly squeezing my hips to give me encouragement to speak and finally, I find some words. "I was stalked." It's just the tip of the iceberg, but I'm proud of myself for saying it out loud. Eric's voice is full of concern now, still gripping on to me tightly. "Who?" His statement, again, short but effective. "My first boyfriend, Aaron." He nods before lining up his next question. "How old were you?" This is where it gets worse. "We got together when I was 13, then broke up when I was 14." I take a deep breath before adding the next part, knowing it will add to the tension already building up in Eric. "He started stalking me after we broke up, then he stopped when I was 17." His eyes go wider now, processing the timeline, at any second now he will realize that Aaron stalked me while I was here in Dauntless. His grip on me gets tighter, almost hurting me, as I see him take a few breaths before he has mustered up the courage to ask me the question I know he doesn't actually want an answer to, maybe he even knows that himself by now.