Let Live (An Austin Carlile Love Story)

A Day to Be Alone

Hi everyone! Here's another update for ya!

The picture in the sidebar is the drawing that Tyler does in this chapter (Just a random picture I really liked that I found on Google)

And the song in the sidebar is the song I imagine Tyler listening to......it's the song I listen to when I'm upset.

Sorry if this chapter seems random.....I felt like shaking things up a bit to keep the story interesting.

Enjoy :)

Tyler's P.O.V:

I made my way slowly down to the basement, letting the darkness enclose around me. I felt content down here where no one could see me; where I couldn't see myself.

The past few weeks had been miserable. Something snapped inside of me. I couldn't take anymore pain, anymore feelings. For the first time in my life I felt truly and uterly alone, though in reality I knew I wasn't. I felt hopeless, worthless......broken.

Everything was crumbling around me all at once and I couldn't deal with it anymore.

I was depressed, and I couldn't seem to find my way out of it. I'm not sure if I even want to......

I couldn't seem to get my mind off of everything. I couldn't stop thinking about my mom......I couldn't stop thinking about Kody.

I know I shouldn't be thinking about him; after what he did I shouldn't miss him. But I'd be lying to you if I told you I didn't. I missed him so much, more than I should, more than I ever thought I could. I missed the way things used to be. I missed the comfort of having someone to love, someone to love me back.

I missed the way I used to be, before the accident, before everything. I was happy then; my life was perfect, but that's what happens when you get too comfortable, I guess.

I hadn't talked to Austin at all in the last few weeks, though that was because of my own doing. He had tried to call me everyday, but I didn't answer. It wasn't anything personal against him; I had been pushing everyone away. I hadn't talked to anyone in a few days, though my brother was making it hard to ignore him. I hadn't done much besides sit in my room and listen to my music and cry. Sometimes I couldn't even make any tears come out; I was just numb, and I would sit there for hours staring into space not feeling anything.

I had done something that I swore I would never do to myself no matter what. I had hurt myself in any attempt to take it all away, and it provided an intense relief that I had longed to feel. My wrists ached just at the thought of it.

You may wonder where all of this is coming from. I had been happy.....considering the circumstances. Austin and I were getting closer and I was on the road to fixing myself. I can't explain it to you, I can't even explain it to myself.

I guess some people just eventually reach a point where they can't take anymore and everything just shuts off. That's what it felt like to me.

I turned on a few dim lights and set the bottle of whiskey down on the window sill. I unfolded my easel from the corner and set it up, drapping it with a fresh piece of paper. I took a swig from the bottle as I pulled out my pencils. I turned my music to the depressing stuff I had been listening to lately, and I stuck my pencil between my lips as I stared at the blank canvas trying to find inspiration.

I just began to draw, not really thinking about it, not thinking about anything. I let the pencil take control as I poured what few emotions I could muster out onto the blank paper.

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Austin's P.O.V:

I pulled up in front of Josh and Tyler's house, shutting my car off and walking slowly up to the front porch.