Let Live (An Austin Carlile Love Story)

Unstable

Here's an update for ya......just a filler chapter but hopefully still good none the less :)

Song in here belongs to Automatic Loveletter......just using it for fictional purposes!

Enjoy!

Tyler's P.O.V:

After about an hour of deciding whether I wanted to get out of bed today I got up with a groan and trudged to the bathroom. I gazed at my reflection in the mirror and couldn't help but feel a little ashamed at myself. I felt like a failure, a quitter for giving up on school. I rested my hands on the sink and tried to reason with myself inside of my head. This is what happens when your head and heart are in conflict......

My head was telling me that I should have stuck it out, I should have got my shit together and pulled my grades out of the toilet because in order to get a job I needed a college degree.

But my heart......my heart wasn't in it. My heart was telling me that I didn't know what I wanted with my life anymore. My heart was so unsure of everything; well, almost everything.

The only thing I knew for sure was how much I was in love with Austin. And right now that was oddly enough to quiet my mind for the time being.

I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair up into a messy bun. I didn't bother to change out of my pajamas though. I grabbed my phone and my notebook and my favorite pen and made my way downstairs. I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water and decided to explore a little; I hadn't seen any other part of his house besides the living room, the kitchen, and his bedroom, and I couldn't help but be a tad bit curious. I walked through the kitchen to the other side of the house where there was another living-room type area. There was a pool table and a big tv with a bunch of gaming systems, but that's not at all what caught my eye. It was something else that drew me in.

In the corner of the room sat a beautiful baby grand piano. I couldn't help but take a seat at the bench. I lifted the cover away from the keys and ran my fingers over the shiny ivory. It had been so long since I'd played an actual piano. I was probably still in high school at the time. After the accident with my parents I ended up selling it because it brought back too many memories. Now all I had was a shitty keyboard that sounded like dying cats.

I positioned my foot over the pedals and began to play without even thinking about it; it all came flooding back to me like I had never stopped playing. I had learned to play piano when I was 5 years old, way before I learned the guitar. I used to play in recitals when I was a kid, but as I grew up I played more for recreational purposes, and when I was 15 I wrote my very first song, music and lyrics, at that piano that we had in our basement.

I finished up the piece that I was playing, one of my favorite Beethoven pieces, and sat there grinning to myself like an idiot. It all felt so good, so right. I took a drink of my water and cleared my head as I sat staring out the big window in front of me at the Hollywood Hills. As I stared I began to think up a melody in my mind; I could practically picture myself pressing each key, the notes filling the room.

I've never understood why or how it comes so easily to me, writing music. I started to play along with the melody in my mind, making a few minor changes here and there until I had a song.....well an instrumental version of one. The lyrics were usually a little harder for me, especially figuring out where to start. Once I felt inspired they poured out of me, though.

My mind drifted to my brother, to the harsh words we had exchanged yesterday. Part of me was still angry, still fuming about the things he had said to me. But there was another part that just wanted to hug him and tell him that I loved him. The lyrics started to flow and I grabbed my notebook and moved down to the floor, crossing my legs under me. I spent the next hour writing and rewriting, humming along as I jotted down my thoughts and feelings on this blank slate. I made my way to the piano and just as I started to play I heard Austin making his way down the hallway to where I was.....not so quietly either. I stood up from the piano and crawled under the pool table to hide. I saw him walk into the room and look around for me, his body language expressing confusion. He walked right past where I was and I reached out and grabbed his leg and to my amusement he screamed a little, sending me into a fit of laughter.