Let Live (An Austin Carlile Love Story)

How Could this Happen to Me?

Tyler's P.O.V:

It had been almost 3 weeks since I had seen or talked to Austin. The last time I saw him was the night he was over and we all played Rock Band for hours. A few days after that Austin, Alan, and the other guys in Of Mice & Men left for a 2 week tour in the U.K. Their plane got in today and I was hoping to get to see Alan……and Austin.

Honestly I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him; the way that he asked if I was okay, the way he held my hand as we walked down the hallway, the way he complimented my singing, and that hug he gave me. I know he didn’t think of me in that way; he’s in a freaking band for crying out loud! And who am I? I’m just some 22 year old nobody who is struggling through college and working at the mall who lives with her older brother, who Austin happens to be good friends with.

Things with Kody had been better, but not great. Surprisingly he had dropped the possessiveness, but in turn he did a complete 180 and would go days without trying to get a hold of me. That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I said things had to change. When we did spend time together things were great; he was the amazing guy that I had fallen in love with, but he seemed to be distancing himself from me, and I found myself doing the same with him. I still loved him, and when we were together nothing else mattered but us, but on those days he didn’t call me or the days he blew me off I realized it didn’t hurt near as much as it should.

It was 6 pm and I had just left work after a long, extremely busy Saturday of dealing with obnoxious teenagers. Something about them going in public with their friends made them turn into idiots! And frankly it drove me insane! But it came with the job, and I had learned to deal with it over the years. I decided randomly to stop by Kody’s to say hey. We needed to talk and figure out what this thing was. I surely couldn’t be the only one who noticed the change in our relationship. I picked up my phone to call him, but decided to surprise him instead in an effort to keep the romance alive and what not.

I pulled up in front of his apartment complex. I walked to his door and knocked a few times, not getting a response. His car was parked out front so I knew he was home. I pulled my keys out and unlocked the door with the spare key he had given me a while back. I’m guessing he forgot I had it.

I opened the door and took one step into the apartment before stopping dead in my tracks. Kody was home alright, but he wasn’t alone. Some blonde girl was sitting on his lap, wearing nothing but a pair of underwear, if you can even call them underwear, and they were practically eating each other’s faces off. I cleared my throat causing Kody to look up at me, his eyes going wide.

“Seriously?” I yelled, scoffing under my breath. I shook my head and turned to leave as Kody shoved the half naked girl off of him and stormed after me. I was walking as fast as I could, going down the steps 2 at time, and keeping up my pace until I reached my car, Kody not too far behind.

“Tyler! Wait! Please, Tyler hold on,” he said as he caught up to me, grabbing a hold of my arm. I turned to look at him. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, which was the last thing I wanted right now.

“What Kody? Are you going to try to explain? Say it wasn’t what I think? Because you can’t talk your way out of what I just witnessed in there,” I said, my voice angry and shaky.

“Tyler, I’m sorry-” I cut him off before he could say anymore.

“Is this why you’ve been ignoring me the past couple of weeks? Because you’ve been fucking some slut behind my back?” I barked at him, his eyes wandering towards the ground unable to look at me. “Yeah, figures. So….we’re done, Kody. For good.”

“Tyler, please…..I love you so much,” he pleaded with me and I yanked my arm from his grasp.

“Yeah, Kody I can tell! Good to know those 2 years meant so much to you that you could just throw it away for some bleach-blonde bitch!” I yelled as I felt a tear escape my clutches and roll down my cheek. I unlocked my car and yanked open the door. “I’ll come by for my stuff later. I’ll make sure to call first though in case you’re busy!” I got in the car and slammed the door, Kody just standing there and watching me. His eyes appeared to be tearing up; he had no right to cry. He did this, he ruined this. I started the car and drove away, watching Kody in my rearview mirror as the tears began to fall freely now that I was alone.

I drove home in silence, sobbing the entire way. As much as things with Kody hadn’t been great I still loved him; we had been together for 2 years, and once upon a time things were perfect between us. I pulled into the driveway and turned off my car, but not yet getting out. I willed the tears to stop and removed the smeared make up off of my face. Josh was home and I didn’t want him asking questions. I wasn’t in the mood to talk. I finally collected myself enough and grabbed my bag. I opened the front door and almost ran into Josh as he was walking out.

“Woah! You scared me!” he hollered as we almost collided. I shot him a fake smile and pushed past him into the house. “Hey, I’m gonna go to the airport; Alan and the guys are coming back tonight and Alan asked me to come help with the gear and everything. Wanna come with?” he asked.

“No thanks,” I said sharply as I continued to walk towards my room.

“You okay, Tyler?” Josh yelled after me.

“Peachy!” I hollered back in response as I entered my room, slamming the door behind me. I half expected Josh to barge in any minute, but luckily he didn’t. After a few seconds I heard the front door shut, and out my window I saw Josh drive off. I chucked my bag across the room and ran my hands through my hair. I didn’t want to cry anymore. I shouldn’t be crying over this asshole who cheated on me and broke my heart. I put my hair into a messy ponytail and took my contacts out. My eyes were stinging from the tears so I pulled my glasses out of my side table and put them on my face. I put on a pair of sweatpants and a tshirt and wandered off to the kitchen looking for something to eat.

I opened the fridge: nothing. I opened the freezer and instead of food I found something else: Vodka. I grabbed the bottle and took a big drink from the foul tasting liquor. I coughed a little as my throat burned, but I shook it off and downed another big drink. I looked toward the freezer and slammed the door shut, taking the bottle with me to my room.

Not my best moment in decision making, but I needed to numb the pain.