Let Live (An Austin Carlile Love Story)

What Do You Want From Me?

Austin's P.O.V:

"Where's my girl at?" I questioned as I stepped onto the bus, the heat flowing through the lounge a nice break from the chilly January air outside. I smiled just at the thought of her, though I was still a little worried. The way she had getting sick so much, it had me concerned; I was worried that she was letting this bother her more than she was letting on. She told me she was getting better, that she was coming to terms with it and trying her best to move on, but it still scared me that she still dwelling on it, the fact that it was making her sick evidence enough. I had no idea what to do to help her, it was killing me to see her like that, in pain on inside, I wanted it to go away, but I didn't know how to make that happen. For now I was being supportive, doing everything and anything to make her happy, though it wasn't always easy. I was hurting too, hurting for her; the fact that someone could do something so horrible to her - it wasn't easy to just let that go, to pretend that it had never happened. I wanted him to pay, he deserved to, but Tyler wouldn't let me pursue it. Honestly it was probably for the best, and I promised her that I wouldn't let it get to me too bad, but sometimes it did, sometimes hurting him was all I thought about.

Aaron was silent for a while, his body tense, confusing me. His eyes refused to meet mine. "She's, uh, taking a nap," he finally muttered out, and though I didn't understand his strange body language I nodded and shrugged him off, making my way quietly through the bunk area towards the bathroom, doing my best not to wake Tyler. Shutting myself in the bathroom I did my business, washing my hands and splashing some water on my face, trying to keep myself awake. As I reached over for the towel to dry my face off something in the trash can caught my eye, something that looked out of place. The small pink carboard box didn't belong, I hadn't remembered it being in the trash earlier. As I reached for it I furrowed my brow, wondering what it could be. I wasn't usually this nosy, but something about it didn't feel right; I had to know what it was.

I pulled it out, my face draining of color, my heart picking up it's pace out of total shock and disbelief. I read the words on the box over and over, my mind not wanting to believe what I held in my hands. First Response Pregnancy Test. This didn't feel real. Was Tyler pregnant? And why hadn't she told me?

I stumbled out of the bathroom towards the back lounge, collapsing on the couch, the box still clutched tightly in my hands. How could this have happened? Why now?

It all began to make sense, I don't know why the thought hadn't crossed my mind before. It should have, though, it should have been at the fore front of my thoughts. It made sense. The way she had been acting, the fact that she had been getting sick so much. And considering what had happened at school....a little over a month ago. It was too much of a coincidence.

I felt tears brimming my eyes as I stared at that little pink box, my knuckles turning white I was squeezing it so tight.

I was scared, more terrified than ever before. It wasn't the thought of having a baby with Tyler that was so hard to deal with, that was something that I had always wanted, that I had always looked forward to. It was something else, something that was extremely unsettling.

I had a horrible feeling that, because of what had happened to her, that the baby wasn't mine, and I didn't know how to deal with that.

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Tyler's P.O.V:

I tried to nap, to fade into unconciousness and forget about all of this for a few short hours, but sleep wouldn't come, and neither would the tears. I felt numb, like this wasn't real, like I was stuck in someone else's life. The last few hours had been spent trying to rationalize the situation, trying to make it sink in, to understand that it was in fact real, it was really happening, and there was nothing I could do to change it; I didn't know if I wanted to change it. I didn't know what I wanted, what to think, what to feel. It had all happened so fast, I hadn't had time to process it, to understand it, to figure any of it out. But I needed to, soon, and I needed to do it with Austin's help.