Let Live (An Austin Carlile Love Story)

Happy

Tyler's P.O.V:

"Ready?" Josh asked as he set his camera in the stand, pointing it in my direction.

"No, I'm nervous," I muttered, self-consciously running my fingers through my hair.

"What? You weren't nervous yesterday when we made the first video!"

"Well, yeah because Ryan and the guys were there too! This time it's just me, my guitar, and my soul bared for all to see!" I brought my legs under me, crossing them indian style and allowing my guitar to rest in the space between them.

In the 2 weeks since we had been back from tour I had made a major life decision: I finally figured out what I wanted to do with my life.

Music.

It had always been music; I have loved singing and writing songs ever since I could remember. I was never confident enough in myself to believe that I could pursue it, that I could make something out of it. Singing karaoke that night at the bar in Boston I felt so alive. Though I was drunk something within me finally clicked, and I realized the answer to the burning question that was my future was right in front of me the entire time.

Living in Los Angeles it would be easy for me to walk into a million record lables, dropping my demo in a pile with thousands of other hopefuls dreaming of making it big in La La Land. I thought of taking that route, but the uncertainty of it all didn't much appeal to me. I didn't want to go back to working at Journey's while I waited for God knows how long for someone to call me back. I didn't want to wait around wondering if I would hear from anyone at all.

After some serious thought and exploring option after option I finally decided how I wanted to go about all of this. I decided that I want to go back to school, this time to study music. I couldn't think of a better alternative; getting to spend everyday singing and writing all while learning from professionals could do wonders for me. It would help me gain the confidence in my music that I was sometimes lacking, it would provide me with the training that would only help to improve my voice. And then when I felt I was at my best, that I had done everything I could to make myself unique, I would take the music scene by storm.

That brings me to where I am right now, seated on the floor of my apartment, my guitar draped in my lap, and my brother behind the camera, ready to record my second audition tape. Besides a normal application, each performing arts school required a taped audition sent along with it. I had decided to do two, just to be on the safe side. We did the first one yesterday; I sweet talked Ryan and his band into helping me out. We performed a song I wrote, "Eyes On You", that was a little more upbeat, a little faster, and featured a full backing band.

This go around was much different. It was just me this time, and I was freaking out a little even though it was only Josh and I present in the room. I kept thinking about how much my future may ride on this, and I freaked me out a little.

"Just relax and play. Pretend it's just you and me, Ty. Pretend the camera isn't there, it's just a normal day and you're playing for fun," Josh said, his voice reassuring as he tried to calm me down. I nodded and took a deep breath, instructing him to hit record on the camera. He did as I asked and I began to pluck at my guitar strings, singing a song I wrote while I was on tour with Austin called "Carry the Fire". I chose two of my songs that contrasted each other, that would hopefully show the audition committee my capabilities and showcase my range a little bit.

I found myself relaxing more and more as I got lost in the song, forgetting why I had even been nervous in the first place. I finished the song with a smile as Josh shut off the camera; I felt satisfied, like I had given it my best. Hopefully that would be enough.