Her Silence Screamed A Thousand Words

Episode 6

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Dua's POV

Its been hours since I woke up hours since I've been out of the house,hours since I have been driving senselessly. I don't know where this journey will lead me . After a really long drive I reached the place where it all started.
The house where my life turned upside down. When I first stepped inside this house it was supposed to be my heaven, the place where I was supposed to be running after my children when they learn how to run, where my husband will shower me with his unconditional love. Where I thought I'd live to see a bright future ahead. But with every step I take towards it my heart feels heavy as if every step adds more to the burden that I already carry on my shoulder. The dried blood on the porch reminds me of the time when I was thrown off the roof. The broken glass from the windows remind me of my broken heart. The unlocked and unsafe door of the house reminds me of the days when I was left unguarded in front of the animals of this world that we call men I'm not saying that every man is bad but the ones I've come across can not even be compared to animals. With every step I take inside the house reminds me of the laughs that soon turned into screams and cries. If possible I can hear my pleading cries. I can feel every tear I cried maybe because even uptil now they haven't dried up. They still fall because I once thought my life right now would be a happily ever after but I guess not. If someone would've told me 9 years ago that I would be divorced and mute and broken I would've yelled at them or maybe even laughed but now I guess happily ever afters don't exist. I make my way through every room. Every corridor, every hallway. The flashbacks of me screaming, yelling , crying, begging and suffering comes back. The further I go in the house I'm getting closer to that room. The room where hell broke loose every single night. The room who's walls have been tainted by my blood. The walls who have witnessed me breaking bit by bit. Once I step inside the room I can feels every hit once again. I can feel every wound renewing. I slammed the door shut of my old bedroom. And walked towards the back door that leads to the back yard where my whole life has been buried. I don't even know why I've come here maybe to face my past before I start a new life. Every single step towards that one particular spot makes me want to run away, make me want to turn my back to it and run, to deny the mere fact that maybe I did got lucky ones to give birth to enjoy the only pain that brought happiness with it afterwards. The pain that could've killed me but became the reason why I wanted to live.

My tears have now soaked my dupatta and sleeves who have done a miserable job in wiping away the pain I feel rightnow.

Even when the grass has grown back when the bump has evened out I still remember this spot as if it was dug just yesterday. Yesterday. That's what it feels like. It feels like that kashan will come out of no where telling me to dress up in one of those revealing dresses that bearly covered anything just because his clients were coming over. It feels like yesterday when he'll come in fumming in anger that I refused to hand myself over to anyone and take me down to the basement and tie me to the ceiling and whip me till I'm almost dead. It feels like yesterday when I first held my little angel in my arms and cradled her, fed her for the first time, smiled for the first time in a year.

I sat down next to my babies grave. That only posses her ashes now. Why you ask? everything burned only leave its ashes behind. I run my hand over the over grown grass. My tears fall directly on the spot where my little khadija is. It doesn't takes long for me to break down in sobs remembering the scene. Watching it play all over again in front of my eyes....

Flashback (third person POV)

Ahhhhhh.... Came her crying voice so fragile as glass.

The four month old little girl wailed loudly calling out to her mother to tend her.