Living Loving Maid

Chapter 22

I advise you to listen to the song. It's called Love Will Tear Us Apart, and it's by one of my favorite bands, Joy Division. I think it kind of fits what's going on with Jimmy, Hailey, and Charlotte. Also, Angie by the Rolling Stones kind of fits too. This chapter is just going to be told in Jimmy's POV.

Jimmy was not in the mood to put up with the fact that it was possible that Hailey was not going to be around him for a long time anymore. He had so many plans for the two of them, which was why he brought Hailey to Pangbourne in the first place. If only Charlotte hadn't discovered, then maybe this wouldn't have happened. Jimmy thought.

Sleeping was becoming difficult for Jimmy, and his main method of trying to cope with his feelings was listening to blues music, or drinking Jack Daniels until he felt somewhat "happy" enough, but he didn't get drunk. He felt the urge to do heroin when no one was around, but he kept resisting that urge, and he knew that he would have to give in to those urges soon. Sometimes, Jimmy would mess around on his guitars, and that only briefly helped. All Jimmy felt most of the time was just...pain. He knew Hailey was still around, and he wanted to appreciate that, but the fact that she would be gone soon wasn't helping.

Jimmy didn't want to accept the fact that Hailey would soon be gone from his life. Jimmy didn't have much motivation to write any music, and when Robert would call him, Jimmy didn't want to answer. He simply just ignored the calls. Jimmy knew that Robert was probably getting concerned, but he didn't care, which wasn't normal for Jimmy. He usually cared about the feelings of Robert and the others and basically all of his friends, but that wasn't the case anymore at the moment. He could care less if they were concerned or not.

As Jimmy headed back to his room to be alone again, he heard his phone ring again. Jimmy just blankly stared at his phone for a few moments, before finally giving up and going to pick it up. Robert's voice, full of concern, was what Jimmy heard.

"Jimmy, you finally answered, for fuck's sake! What's going on, man? Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not." Jimmy answered bitterly. "You're lucky that I chose to fucking answer. I was originally going to just ignore you again, but I gave up."

"Tell me what's going on. We're all a little worried about you, Pagey."

Jimmy closed his eyes tight, trying to keep himself calm. "Don't call me that." He said.

"Why?" Robert asked. "You used to never mind. Something's definitely wrong, I can tell. Please tell me what's happening. I'm worried."

"I don't fucking care, Robert." Jimmy hissed. "All I have to say is my life is fucking over."

Jimmy could hear Robert sigh over the phone.

"Let me guess, this involves Hailey, doesn't it?" Robert asked. "I knew you taking her to Pangbourne was a bad idea. Charlotte was going to discover everything out, anyway. I assume she did."

"Yes, she did." Jimmy answered. "Now, Hailey and I are going to have to go our separate ways, and I really don't want that to happen. I love her too much, don't I?"

"Honestly, you do, Jimmy. You seem like you're becoming obsessed. Are you even willing to fix what's going on between you and Charlotte?"

"I don't want to lose Charlotte, either." Jimmy said, taking in a shaky breath. "At the same time, I really don't want to lose Hailey. She's the only person really keeping me together. She talked to me about this whole situation, and she was acting like she wasn't important. Kept comforting me. You know how there's people who are fucking Christians and Catholics and all that shit and believe in a god? If they believe in a god, could they explain why this is happening to me? How do they still have faith in a 'god' if they suffer too?"