Floating in the galaxy "Goldy" made me
Sculpted by hand, it was my first and best birthday gift
They gave me love and kindness
A chance to try again, be the kid I was supposed to be
They used to always ask me,
"You know you're a kid right?"
And I used to get offended
I never could understand it
They mentored me, took me under their wing
Helped me come to terms with my identity
They are the only reason I came out,
As a trans male named Gray in the first place
They gave me the hope I needed
to live through Christmas,
when everything went to shit
When I came out as bi and almost lost my eye
They were the first one I told,
They held me and said it'd be alright
And I believed them cause at the time
That's what I needed most
When my universe came to a halt
And my boundaries were violated again
They were the first one I told,
And I wish I never did
They held me and said they'd be there for me through it all
They told me, once again, that it'd be alright
And I believed them cause at the time
That's what I needed most
But one email gripped with frigid robotic words from Goldy
And everything shifted
Suddenly they weren't there for me
Suddenly I was isolated from the world
And soon everyone walked away from me
Said I had been lying, when I myself knew the truth
All I could think about is if Goldy thought I lied or not
If they hated me or not
I was so scared, so lost, I started to obsess over the situation
How I should've handled it, what happened, the events leading up to that moment
I was broken, stuck in that one week
I couldn't move on, for months it was all I could think about
Obsession, therapists called it
Addictive, is what Goldy was
Like a crackpot I went through withdrawal
I clung to my sanity best I could, but that sanity didn't exist anymore
I'd gone crazy
Tipped over the edge of no return
Falling deeper and deeper into my madness like it was an illness
I lost hope completely
I found it eventually
I managed to stop thinking about them as much
But a part of my heart was left empty
And I still wake in cold sweats at night
YOU ARE READING
Violently Silent : Poetry
PoetryFrom the LGBTQ+ subjects that some consider taboo to the abandonment of others because of the things we cannot control, this poetry book covers all the things you'd normally not hear about. Everyone tries to keep us quiet. And I think it's about tim...
