...
His lips taste like home.
I have no idea how, and I have no idea if I'm kissing him correctly, but oh my, this is actually happening. And I can't get enough of it.
I'm kissing Will Nox.
I'M KISSING WILL NOX?!?!
What the hell?
He's a good kisser. Definitely. Yup. My fingers are weaved into his hair, something I've wanted to do for a long time coming. It feels like sparks are erupting on my skin from where his fingers are holding my cheeks and the sparks shoot down to my toes.
They're everywhere.
And I don't mind.
We pull away from each other, and I try to catch my breath. I look into his eyes, and for the first time, I can't tell what he's feeling.
We're sitting in silence, watching the sun go down.
"I feel like I should say something." I say, watching how the dusk makes his golden hair reflect a myraid of colours.
"You don't have to say anything at all." He says, smiling nervously.
I feel like, for just a second, I should ask what are we? but I'm afraid to hear his answer. I already know what it is.
Will, I think, you're so goddamn beautiful. And I know boys aren't meant to be beautiful. They're meant to be tragic and horrible and rip my heart to pieces. And maybe you will destroy me, but it will be in the best way possible.
Will reaches for my hand and I look towards him as he's oblivious to my thoughts. He smiles as I blush and we watch the sky set on fire, still holding hands.
Together.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's Wednesday. So far, Will and I have met up once this week after school and we'll meet up again today, for the project.
Next week, it will be over.
It will all be over.
Will I regret this?
...
Why am I doing this?
I look into the mirror above a sink in the girls' bathroom. I look like a mess. Disheveled and unkempt.
No wonder.
For the whole weekend I had been going in between that ghastly essay I had left until the last second in my bedroom, texting Will and wondering if what I'm going to do is right. I mean, I did just kiss him. I can't...
I can't do it.
I can't hurt him.
I can't hurt Will Nox. I can't hurt myself because it'll hurt him. It will hurt him more than it hurts me.
I don't think dying would hurt at all.
But to Will... Oh, I can't do it. Why can't I hurt him?
Because you luuuuuurve him.
- the stupid part of my brain.
No I don't.
Yes you do.
Oh, what the hell?
Well, at least I know one reason why maybe I don't want to hurt him. But first, I've got to sort my feelings out. Yup.
I get out a notepad and write inside of it:
To do list-
- An excessive amount of homework
- Kill the spider on top of my wardrobe
- Hold a funeral for the dead spider
- Finish the project with Will
- Sort out feelings
- Burn this list
- Kill myself?
YOU ARE READING
A Chaotic Type Of Beautiful (UNDER EDITING)
RomanceHer name was Ghost, or at least she certainly felt like one. She was thirteen when she stopped loving anyone and came up with a system- everytime someone broke her heart, she made a scar. This ensured her, slowly, to stop loving at all. But years la...
