Not Into Her

XXXIX - The Daughter I've Got

After that painful happening, I didn't lose hope and begun experiencing some changes in my life. I've still got one mission to take care of and that is to become a good father to my daughter. I didn't have a name for my daughter at that time and I started to think of some useful and beautiful names that suitable for my daughter.

And when her Christening came, I named her Alessa Mariae. A combination of my name and Ana's full name. I can see that her smile is like Ana's and the name suits for her. That was three months after her birth and after her mother's death. She's so lucky to have a dad who never got a grudge on her due to her mother's death and I love her so much, just like what I did to my wife.

Two years later, Alessa learned to stand on herself without my aid and can walk three feet from her original position. I was so happy to see her walk and also my band mates. And this makes her first improvement I saw on her back then. Just like me, when I was a baby like her.

Three months later, she started to talk a word like Dada or Uncle. Those were the sweetest voice I heard while on her early stage and improvements. She must've learned the things she heard when I and my band mates are currently working on our next album.

Four years later, Alessa is a good and obedient kid. She always smiled at me and eventually asked some questions on me. I answered all her questions and wondered what her future will be. At the latter months, her intelligence sprung. I didn't know where she got all information she got. I've never take her to a library or anywhere where books are located.

I took her to a school near our apartment and, after a couple of months, they reported at me that she accelerated to different grade level due to her high intelligence. Once, I was fetching her when she didn't walk out from their school's gate when after the bell rang. So I went looking at her around the campus and found her in their library, sitting and reading some encyclopedias and almanacs on her desk.

When she reached eight years of age, Alessa looked at me and wondered why she didn't have a mother. She always noticed some of her classmates in school have mothers to reach for and she envied on them.

"Your mother died when you're still a baby." I replied at her, when she asked. "Her OB-Gyne saw some complications when she's giving birth on you. She died on that delivery table on my eyes. At first, I didn't believe that she's dead after she gave birth to you and then I found out that she is dead when I walked with the doctor inside on that Delivery Room."

"So it's my fault why Mom is not here." Alessa said with a frown face.

I walked to Alessa and hugged her tight. "It's not your fault, honey." I said at her, to lessen her sadness. "It's nobody's fault. It's the complication of your birth is to blame. Maybe luck is not my side at that day."

I released Alessa and smiled. "Wanna go and meet her?" I asked.

"Who? Mom?"

"Yes."

"Okay, Dad."

So we head to the cemetery where Ana is buried. I bought some flowers for Ana and we reached the spot where Ana is lying. Alessa looked at her mother's grave and saw the writings of her mother's name on the gravestone. She read the name and saw that Ana is truly her mother.

I walked to the gravestone, knelt at the front and placed the flowers on the container built for the flowers. Then we offered prayers and I asked some blessings from Ana that Alessa will never be sad anymore about Ana's incident.

At the age of ten, Alessa started to get dizzy in school. She suddenly fell down and saw her eyes are circling around.

"Are you alright, honey?" I asked Alessa.

"Yeah, Dad." she replied.

"Looks like you need some sleep."

"No need, Dad." she insisted. "I'm really okay."

Then Alessa suddenly collapsed again and fell on the floor again. I caught Alessa on my arms and took her to her bed. I took her school shoes and put her legs on the bed. I saw Alessa's eyes still circling, looking at the ceiling. A sign that she's having a farsightedness. Alessa is like me when I was younger, dizzy and the world is like circling around.

So I took my old eyeglasses from my closet and gave it to Alessa.

"What this?" she asked, taking the box with my old eyeglasses.

"It's my old eyeglasses." I replied. "I bet you have problems in your eyesight. Try this."

"How did you know?"

"I also experienced the dizziness of your head when I was young. At first, I didn't know what happened to me until your grandfather Alfred gave those eyeglasses. I tried wearing the eyeglasses he gave and the dizziness works. Try it out."

Alessa tried the eyeglasses and noticed her dizziness lessen. She looked around and noticed the lenses aren't suitable for her. So she took the eyeglasses off and gave the lenses back at me.

"But, Dad, the grade is not appropriate on me."

"Well, then, let's head to the nearest ophthalmologist and get your eyes fixed up."

"Okay, Dad."

So we did what I guessed. We head to the ophthalmologist and got her eyeglasses fixed up. She wore her eyeglasses whenever she go. She looked even more beautiful when she wears her glasses, just like her mother when Ana is still alive.

When she reached eleven, I wondered what she chose to be when she grow up. I mean, everyone has a gift that can be enhance when they're still young. So I looked at Alessa when she's about to have her late dinner after the realization and smiled.

"Honey," I said at her. "if any by chance, what do you wanna achieve before you grow up?"

"I wanna be a good violinist." she replied. "I always love listening orchestral music from the theatre we have. Everyday, the school's orchestra practiced their piece after school. And I really love it."

"Well, then." I said, with a decision. "This coming summer, I'll enroll you to a violin session."

So when Summer came, just what I promised at her, I enrolled Alessa to a violin session and she improved her skill in playing violin. And eventually, she begun composing music with chords on her newly-bought violin that I gave to her from a musical instrument store.

Then three weeks later, I heard her singing on a punk rock music from her favorite punk rock bands, Bowling For Soup and New Found Glory, and also my band. She's got a beautiful voice, I heard her singing in the bathroom and in her bedroom, just like her old man.

Alessa also love to dance. Once, I saw her swaying her body around the living room and accidentally fell herself on our comfy couch. Then I walked to her and taught her how to dance herself up and she immediately learned the steps I taught on her. And because of that, she asked me to put a stereo set on her bedroom and I immediately put a stereo component and two mini speakers on each sides.