Chess Pieces #2: Hunter Sanford

Chapter 4

I was still in Ilocos with Daphne when Apollo sent me a picture that broke my heart. The picture shows my boyfriend inside a bar. Madilim ang pagkakakuha pero mahahalata ng kung sino man na si Joshua ang lalaking nakaupo sa may couch. But what broke my heart is the girl sitting on his lap while they were kissing. It wasn't just a kiss. It's a torrid kiss. And Joshua's hands were all over the girl's body.

"It was just an edited picture, right?" I asked my bestfriend. Daphne didn't say anything but I can see the answer in her eyes. At hindi ako tanga para paniwalaang edited ang picture.

But my heart hurts so much that a part of me wanted to believe that lie. Sa sobrang sakit ng nararamdaman ko ay gusto kong maniwala na edited nga ang picture.

I called Joshua that very same day. Hindi ko hahayaan na matapos ang araw na 'to nang hindi sya nakakausap. If he refused to talk to me, then all hell will break loose.

We agreed to meet at the restaurant. It was already evening nang magkita kami at nahihilo pa ako dahil sa byahe namin mula Ilocos but I don't care. I'm willing to ignore my throbbing headache just to talk to Joshua about the picture.

But I know how this talk will end.

"Explain." maikling sabi ko at ipinakita sa kanya ang picture na ni-send sa akin ni Apollo kanina.

Joshua took my phone and stared at the picture. I saw how the color on his face drained when he recognized the picture. At doon pa lang, alam ko na ngang totoong nangyari ang nasa litrato.

Why, though? Bakit nya ginawa iyon? I did everything. I did everything to save our failing relationship. I tried to party with him sometimes kahit na hindi ako sanay mag-bar. I did my best to fulfill the girlfriend duties. I know I give my all. Pero bakit parang kulang pa rin? Bakit nya pa rin ginawa iyon? Am I not enough?

"Artemis... Let me explain." Joshua said and I can hear the desperation on his voice.

Sumandal ako sa inuupuan ko. I crossed my arms and tried to look so tough kahit na gustong gusto nang tumulo ng mga luha ko dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman ko. But I held it all. I don't want to look so pathetic dahil ako naman ang niloko.

"That's what I've said, Joshua. Explain." sabi ko. Gusto ko nang palakpakan ang sarili ko nang madinig ang lamig sa boses ko.

"I... I was drunk." he said and I wanted to laugh. Nakita nya ang pangisi ko kaya mas lalo pa syang namutla. "I was drunk, Artemis. Hindi ko alam ang ginagawa ko."

"You know, that is such a lame excuse."

"Artemis— Artemis, hindi ko talaga alam ang ginagawa ko. Lasing ako noon!"

I gasped for an air. I was willing to listen to his explanation. And maybe, forgive him but he gave me a lame one. Handa akong tanggapin ang paliwanag nya. Pero hindi ko kayang tanggapin ang sinasabi nya ngayon.

"Why, Joshua? Naging ibang tao ka ba nang malasing ka? Hindi naman, diba? Kaya huwag mong isisi sa alak ang ginawa mo!"

Hindi sya nakapagsalita. My lips are trembling and I know that tears are forming in the corner of my eyes but I held it in. I'm a Gallagher. I mustn't look pathetic!

"Hindi ko talaga alam ang ginagawa ko..." bulong pa nya sa kawalan ng masasabi. As if naman na matatanggap ko ang walang kwenta nyang paliwanag!

"You know what you were doing that time, Joshua. Even if you're a drunk. At sa tingin ko, ginusto mo nang gawin 'to sa una pa lang."

Hindi makapaniwala ang tingin na ibinigay nya sa akin. "What the hell are you saying?!"

"You have the desire to do it with other girls. You're just afraid of the consequences. Pero nang malasing ka, nagkaroon ka ng lakas ng loob. Nawala ang takot mo. That's why you were able to kiss her without thinking of me."