NONE OF THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS CHAPTER ARE MY OWN, NOR ARE THEY PETERS.
MAJOR DYSOHORIA WARNING ⚠(¸.·'* (¸.·'* *¨)(¸.·'* (¸.·'* (¸.·'* *¨)(¸.·'* (¸.·'*
-'🕷 Peter sat in the bathtub, nails clawing at the skin under his binder. Tears threatened his large brown eyes, he didn't like this. He hated this feeling, this disgusting feeling. Wade's pounding on the door came at a pattern; first a soft thud, and then progressively working up to a rough bang.
The small boy held all his tears in, sniffling. He wanted to let Wade in, but he couldn't let that happen. He didn't want his boyfriend to realize how shitty he was, how ugly he was. That he wasn't a real man.
A sharp pain caused Peter to adjust to reality, a warm, wet substance leaking in between soft fingers. His deep brown eyes narrowed down at his hand, to find blood. The droplets had started from under his nail, and slowly slid down the creases of his fingers. The action drew a quiet sob from his lips, and he stepped up, onto his wobbling feet.
His shaking hands found his feminine face, nails beginning to scrape harshly at the pale skin. He was clawing, grasping, pulling at the skin. Peter just wanted to be a real man. The blood smeared across his face, and his nails cut up soft freckle stained skin.
Tears felt so close; a lump in his throat, a burning in his eyes. But tears were so hard to find, too far away to let out. He wanted to scream, he wanted to slice up the feminine parts of his body. He didn't care if he was left with nothing but bone, he wanted it gone. He wanted it gone NOW.
" Peter!" Wade yelled out for the tenth time, worry coating his shaky voice. The Arachnid had been too quiet for comfort. " Baby..? What did I say?"
He didn't say anything, because how could he? What could he say? I have height dysphoria and how short he was drew his attention back to the rest of hi imperfections? How could he speak when his voice was so maternal, so soft so..feminine.
Real men didn't have a voice like that. Real men didn't have to cover their breasts up; they didn't have any.
His brown eyes fixated on the mirror, staring into his soft features. Peter finally felt those tears, that lump finally pushing out into a wounded cry. The Arachnid gave up, stumbling to the door, to unlock it for his terrified lover. He felt terrible, but he loved Wade more then he hated himself at the moment.
Wade's big blue eyes fell onto Peter, they widened to the size of the moon, and the larger man ran quickly to the bloody boy. Large scarred hands gripped his bloody cheeks, staring into his dead eyes. Wade scooped the boy up in his arms, taking in his scent as he gently sat him on the toilet.
[ Why did he do that? Why did we let him do that?!]
[ We didn't know! Is that what's important to you? We need to make sure he isn't hurt.]
[ He's bleeding you fucking idiot!]
[ I'm aware of that! We need to know if he's severely hurt! And we need to figure out why he did it..]
Wade pulled away, to grab a washcloth. He turned the water on low, waiting for it to warm up before he placed the small towel under the faucet. He wanted for the fabric to soak completely before he could go back to his lover.
Peter stared at him, the tears still forcing themselves. He couldn't make them stop now. Why wouldn't they stop? He felt that comforting touch warm his cheeks, Wade's scarred finger wiping the tears from his face. Peter's hand wrapped tightly around his wrist, clinging on it for life, as Wade's other hand moved the fabric over his tender face.
The water left a slight, orange stain where the blood used to be. He found a number of cuts on his jaw, cheeks and throat. Nothing major enough to cause this much blood.
His blue eyes analyzed his small body, to find a faint blood stain on the side of his shirt. The mercenary pushed the article of clothing up, to find a binder soaked with the thick red substance. He lifted the tight binder to find deep claw marks, harsh gashes along his ribs.
Wade sucked in a deep breath, and looked back up at his teary eyed baby boy. He shook his head, cupping the boys tender cheek, pushing hjs head up so they were staring into each others eyes.
" I'm going to take care of you," Wade whispered to his soft boy, it was silent even with Peter's pained cries. He offered a sad smile, blue eyes staring into his. " I promise you."
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It took an hour to convince Peter to take his binder off, and another thirty minutes to convince him to allow Wade to put it on the washing machine. Peter, for awhile wouldn't let his boyfriend touch him, even to dress his wounds.
All was calm now; Peter was laying in their bed beside Wade. It took Wade awhile to finally hold the boy, inching closer to him every few minutes. He didn't want to scare the boy away. The spider felt the exhaustion pinning him against the mattress, he wanted sleep, but he couldn't. He felt he was about to scream, call out to Wade for help.
The mercenary could sense the tension in the air, as he held onto the small boy. Occasionally he would press kisses against the boys neck, reassuringly.
" Do you love me?" Peter asked softly, his voice wavering, cracking with every word.
" more then anything."
" Even though I'm not a real boy?" He slowly turned to face him, a fresh tear sliding down his cheek. It burned on the way down, but he couldn't make it stop.
" Peter Benjamin Parker," Wade said firmly, quickly grasping his cheek, and forcing him to stare into each others eyes. " I have never seen a man anymore real then you. Every man, is a real man."
" Do you really think that?"
" I do." Wade whispered softly, watching his lover very closely.
Peter leaned up, to softly connect their lips. Their kiss was tender and passionate, like their first. Wade moved his lips reassuringly against the soft pink ones, his large hand combing through wild curls.
" You're more of a man then I'll ever be." He whispered against Peter's lips, watching the way his eyes lit up at the words.
" I love you.."
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//Oof.
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𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 & 𝐖𝐀𝐃𝐄: 𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐅
FanfictionWhere Peter Parker tries to navigate the world being one of the only trans superheroes. Right when everything starts to feel fuzzy, overwhelming and tired he meets a loud, overdramatic mercenary that he can't help but fall in love with. 🕸; 🕷 "...