Regrets and Secrets (EraserMic)

Chapter Fourteen

"I'm sorry I never figured it out. I was so hurt and emotional when I saw the baby. I knew there was something going on because of how much you changed but...I just was too stupid not to figure it out. I understand why you didn't tell me." Hizashi said and sets his hand on the counter beside Shouta's.

"You do...?" Shouta asked out slowly, looking over every changed feature.

"Yes, it must've messed you up. Scared you. Hell, petrified you. I shouldn't have left you, I screwed up." The blonde sighed a bit.

"It's okay...I should've gave you a hint or something. It's not your fault."

"It's not yours either, Sho." He moved his hand up and touched his cheek.

          Shouta moved away from his touched a bit and shrunk into himself. He turned away and bites his lip somewhat hard as he thought about what was happening. Hizashi watched and tucked his hair back slightly, moving off to give the other some space.

"You look different from the last time I've seen you." Hizashi said casually, trying to keep them talking.

"It has been 16 years...and well. I know, I've let myself go." Shouta sighed a bit.

"I don't think so. I like your hair still. I wish I could grow facial hair like that, all I can do is this dumb little stash." He sighed and moved close again, squinting slightly behind his glasses before setting his hand back on his cheek.

"W...what are you doing?" He mumbled, this time not pulling away.

"What's that from?" He them rubbed softly under his eye.

"What?"

"This scar...you didn't have that when I was around."

"Well when you left, I had to pick up more hours and all that to pay for everything. Because you paid half the rent. Well I had to bring Hitoshi with sometimes and have someone watch him at work because I didn't have anyone else. Apparently my manager was tired of it and found a way to fire me. Then I couldn't pay for the apartment and the baby. So I just had to pay for the baby. I was pretty desperate for money. I went to my parents...drunk dad, beer bottle, glass brakes. There you go."

"Shit...Sho, you could've called me-"

"Yeah, call for my recently ex boyfriend who thought I cheated on him to beg for money, does that sound like something I'd do?"

"No, not really." Hizashi ran his hand through his hair and sighed, "wait. Where did you end up living?"

"A coworker from the place I got fired at offered-until I got back on my feet and such..."

       Hizashi watched a bit and sighed, running his hand through his hair. He watched as Shouta started to grab another pan out and restart making food, going pretty quiet. He fixed the hearing aid a bit and then peaked at what the shorter one was doing. 'Wow...he might think he'd let himself go but...he's as gorgeous as always.' He smiled a bit as he watched the other cook. Shouta glanced over and then quickly looked right back down at the pan when he saw Hizashi staring. Jeez, why does he keep staring? Does he really think I'm that bad looking?

"Well...I'm sorry I bothered you. Just when I realized who's kid he was. I need to see you." Hizashi stood up better and looked around, "I can head out, I'm really sorry if I bugged."

"You don't have to leave again..." Shouta mumbled quietly.

"Huh?" The blonde perked up when he heard a mumble, "you know I have a hearing problem."

"If you'd like to stay, you can. You don't have to leave, you're not bothering. It's been a long time since I've...I dunno. Since I've felt embarrassed about myself." He sighed as he continued to cook.

"Embarrassed? I don't think there's any reason you'd should be embarrassed. I think you look great."

"I don't though, so much stress weight. I look so tired and lack of self care is just..."

"The weight really fits you. I don't think it's a problem at. Sho, you know that I don't like people just for their looks."

"You still like me?"

"Of course, Damn. Since the day I left, I've hating myself so much. I gave myself so much shit for leaving. It was so dumb of me. I missed 16 years of being together. I missed raising a child with you. I could've been a dad."

        Shouta smiled a bit softly, tucking his hair back softly. He continued to cook and Hizashi stood next him, starting to help with whatever he need. After a bit of time Hitoshi peeked our form his bedroom, being as quiet as possible as he walked to the kitchen. He tilted his head a bit when he saw the two cooking together, then he saw his dad smiling. It made himself smile a bit and he walked over to sit on a chair by the counter.

"Well, look who decided to come visit. What did I say about that curiosity of yours?" Shouta spoke up as he walked to get some plates down.

"I know...it's just-I wanted you to be happy." Hitoshi shrugged and messed with his hands.

"Which is great! Not a lot of kids would do all of that to see their dad smile." Hizashi smiled over at Shouta.

"Alright, Alright. I'll let you off but...please. Tell me where you're going from now on, okay? No more hiding and seeking around.." Shouta said and started to make the plates.

"And no more secrets? Right?" Hitoshi looked at them slowly.

"Mhm, no more secrets." He nodded and kissed his forehead before setting his plate down.