Fate | Miranda Bailey

13 > Tommy's case

Miranda and I were working together on a case. Which was good but also not good? She's been rough on the residents lately. I think it's because of George. She hasn't talked about him and when I do ask she changes the subject and quickly.

We walked to the patient's room and on the way Miranda and I talked, "Are you alright? You seem uneasy." I say to her. She doesn't make eye contact with me--she just keeps walking.

She looks at me, "Cole, Honey, i'm fine."

I look at her, "You're lying."

Miranda looks at me before we enter the patient's room, "Okay, uh, Clara, the CT shows you have an infection in your small bowel and your colon is inflamed." Miranda tells Clara who just stares at us.

I nod, "It's most likely something you picked up in the water. But it seems to have formed an abscess, which means you need surgery right away." I tell her as I begin to write down on her chart to get her ready for surgery.

"No." She tells us.

Miranda and I look at each other, "Uh, if we don't go—"

"No." Clara cuts Miranda off, "No more surgery. I'm not being cut open again." She tells us as she looks at both of us before looking down. I put the chart back on the table as I walk back to stand with Miranda.

"Okay, uh—" I look at Miranda then back at Clara, "You just take a minute. Take a few minutes. And Dr. Robbins and I will back, and we'll discuss it." Miranda tells her.

We begin to walk out but I walk up to Yang, "Start her on pre-op antibiotics and book an OR." I whisper to her. I turn to Clara and smile, "think about this seriously." I say before walking out.

✰ ✰ ✰

a whole later I heard Clara didn't want the surgery because of something Yang told her. But Miranda yelled at Yang for it. Clara got worse and Miranda took her in for surgery. I wasn't needed, there were enough hands on deck all ready for the surgery.

It was late and I was heading home. I went to catch the elevator and before it closed I opened it up and saw a sad Miranda. "Miranda," She just stands there, she been like this all day. She kept silent and I knew she had a lot on her mind.

I walk into the elevator. It was only she and I in the elevator so I stopped the elevator and stepped in front of her. She just looks at me and sighs. She shrugs and I look at her. She's going through a lot and I just want to be there for her.

If she lets me.

She shakes her head, "Look, I... I am an attending, and I am a single mother because we don't know what we are." She points between us and I nod in agreements. We don't know what we are.

She looks in my eyes, "And I lost O'Malley... and, um... I just can't—I can't care anymore. Stevens is not my child. O'Malley was not my child. I have to stop treating... I... I just have to stop caring so much." She admits to me.

I just look at her, "'Cause I can't keep fe—" her voice breaks, "Feeling like this, n-not at work. I have to save the feeling for my son, who needs it. So I just can't keep giving it away here. I c—I won't." She says and pulls herself together.

I nod and click the button to let the elevator move. I stand beside Miranda and place a hand on her back. And she leans into me. She sighs and pulls me closer, "I don't know what we are but I seriously don't know what I would without you, Cole." She tells me.