Red vs Blue Short Stories/OneShots

Ho Ho, Bitch (Tuckington)

"Has anyone seen Tucker?" Wash asked.

It was the week before Christmas and they were decorating. And some of the decorations include Grif's magic snowmen in the 70° weather and Caboose's slightly burned chocolate chip cookies. Wash remembered finding Caboose had recorded himself on how to make the cookies.

"I asked him to get firewood with Caboose. Do you need him?" Carolina asked. Wash looked away blushing under his helmet.

"N-no. Thanks for telling me though." He stutters. "Your secret is safe with me." She says chuckling and walks away to supervise the Reds.

Wash on the other hand, went to search for Tucker in hopes of getting some alone time with him.

.·:*¨ ¨*:·.

"Is this enough? My arms are getting tired." Caboose says. "I never said you had to carry them yet. We need to have enough so we can have a bonfire for Christmas." Tucker says.

"Are we going to burn the Christmas tree in it? I was hoping Santa would leave me a gift for being such a good friend to Church after all these years."

"I wish we could burn the tree but Donut is putting popcorn and candy canes on it. And my Santa outfit should be in my hidden box somewhere here." Tucker says.

Caboose gasps. "Tucker, you're Santa?" He asked. "No you idiot. I'm trying to look sexy for Wash. Bow Chicka Bow Wow." Tucker says sighing.

"You haven't said that in a long, long, long, long, long, looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggg time. Why now?" Caboose asked.

"Stop asking me questions and help me look for the fucking box." Tucker says.

.·:*¨ ¨*:·.

After an hour, Tucker had his box and Caboose was carrying 5 firewood sticks that were about 2x4x16.

Wash was staring in the distance when the two came into his line of view. "Tucker! Glad to see you're back." He called out.

Caboose trips and spills the firewood on the ground. Instead of getting up, Caboose just lays there face down, complaining about his arms.

"Aw suck it up, Caboose. My arms are hurting but you don't see me whining." Tucker says. "That's not nice Tucker." Wash says.

"I need to go change. I'll be back in an hour." Tucker says speeding away with his box. Wash watches him leave then turns back to Caboose. "Come on buddy. Let's get these back to Carolina. I'll take 4 of them, okay?" Wash asked. Caboose gave a thumbs up and starting picking himself back up.

.·:*¨ ¨*:·.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" Grif asked as Tucker ran by. "Wash, mistletoe, sexy Santa, ho ho bitch." He said through breaths.

"Yeah, whatever. Good luck with that." He says nonchalantly.

Tucker finally reaches his room and locks the door immediately. Pulling off his helmet, he looks into the mirror and frowns at how his hair looks. He lets it fall to his shoulders and places the Santa hat on his dreadlocks.

"Sexy Santa, coming to Wash at high speed tonight." Tucker says to himself with finger guns.

After taking the rest of his armor off, he slides on the skintight suit and tied up his sneakers.

Later in the evening, everyone gathered around the bonfire with Tucker being the last one, surprising everyone.

"Ho ho bitches and bitchettes." He says. Simmons was the first to advert his eyes from Tucker. "I never thought I'd see something more disturbing than Donut forcing us into dresses." He says.

"Nope, this is worse. But I'm enjoying your suffering either way." Grif says. "Shut up you fat ass." Simmons said.

"Everything is so sleek and shiny! Almost like my Ms. Claus outfit I bought to wear for Doc last year." Donut comments.

"I don't even want to know how you got that on. Both of you." Carolina says looking away. She even silenced her gag at the thought of the two males side by side in the outfits.

"Tucker, why are you wearing that?" Wash asked. "Its for you. I'm your sexy Santa giving you the gift of love. And all of this." He says gesturing to his body.

"No. A kiss is fine but this is too much." Wash says. "Then kiss me under the mistletoe. You're my bitch." Tucker says.

Wash smirks. "Challenge accepted." He says. Tucker and Wash find the hidden mistletoe and let loose. "Merry Christmas Tucker." Wash breathed. "Happy holidays Wash." Tucker replied.