serenity ~ woosan

「 seven 」

san/wooyoung

the next days after san had left wooyoung's passed by uneventfully, the days after that becoming a bore. the two boys barely saw each other at school and occasionally had short conversations over text, but other than that?

nothing. absolutely nothing.

it tore at san.

every night after the lucky one he had spent with wooyoung held his arms felt wrong. every conversation he had or text he sent stung his heart. the air he breathed felt cursed.

why?

san couldn't find the answer to the question he asked himself every day. he couldn't figure out what made everything feel wrong without the gray-haired boy, and why the feelings started.

it wasn't heartbreak, god no, san couldn't be broken that easily by someone he barely knew. maybe there was more to wooyoung than met san's eye.

the anxiety he held down so deeply started coming back up, coming out in violent bursts in san's mind. it made him question why wooyoung was distant. it made him question himself. anything he thought of, he questioned and grew to fear. any time he looked at himself, he feared he wasn't worth wooyoung's time - that was it, he'd remind himself, you're not enough for his time. give up while you're ahead.

once warm thoughts about the younger were replaced with worried, angry panic and hate towards himself and everything else. it grew to a point where the older refused to think about anything without his bitter view.

but part of him still lit up whenever he heard wooyoung's name. galaxies returned to his eyes. every part of him pleaded for wooyoung at the slight hint of the younger. if ever there was a knock at his door, he rushed to it in hopes it was wooyoung. any notification sounding from his phone brought back the same joy.

that hope would always be quickly crushed. his heart, which seemed to be awoken from the dead and beat again, stopped. his stomach dropped. with each disappointing call back to reality, the fear, the anxiety, and the anger grew worse.

back to the thoughts of not being enough. back to the disappointment of the world, back to being alone, back to his restless, yet oh so tired mind pondering the world, himself, anything. back to his dark apartment.

he didn't need the younger; at least, that's what he told himself; but being apart hurt more than nearly anything else. he'd just had the time of his life with him only a few days ago, but now? he was gone. wooyoung was no more present, yet san was desperate and determined to get him back.

san/wooyoung

the days after didn't hit the younger as hard, but they were still bleak and missed the spark san provided. they most likely would have been as dim as san's if not for his closest friend coming home and staying with him with around a week, at this point.

speaking of that friend, he sat on san's cheap couch and played some random multiplayer game the pair had found with the younger. both laughed for most of the time, having missed each other. they hadn't spent much time together since wooyoung had moved to seoul, leaving his now pink-haired friend back in their hometown where they met.

frankly, the older was doing better than wooyoung. even though he'd begged for his friend to go easy on him, kang yeosang would not listen. a small grin on his face, he kept absolutely wrecking his friend in the game until he finally beat him. wooyoung threw his controller onto the part of the couch next to him, scoffing jokingly, before pretending to throw a fit.

yeosang jokingly teased back, poking him and telling him not to pout. wooyoung just pouted more and huffed in response. to make him stop, the older started tickling him, leaving wooyoung in a laughing fit he couldn't calm down from.

"STOP!" wooyoung gasped and begged between giggles, "IT HUUURTS!"

yeosang shook his head and kept going until a ding sounded from wooyoung's phone. he pulled away from the barely smaller boy and let him settle down as two more dings rang through the quiet air. wooyoung grabbed his phone.

3 new messages

he cautiously unlocked his phone, not sure why anyone would be texting him. after he opened it, he read the texts.

sannie 💩:
hey
i miss u
:(

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a double upload?? in one day?? damn i love writing in advance

thank you so much for reading!! 'twill get softer soon i promise!!