serenity ~ woosan

「 thirty-five 」

san/wooyoung

"damn, mingi, you look really pretty right now."

the words repeated in wooyoung's mind, breaking his heart more every time.

san on mingi's lap, leaning in, holding his chin, saying those words-

he wondered where he went wrong.

wooyoung told himself he wouldn't be hurt or played like this again - he swore to himself that it wouldn't happen.

he supposed he couldn't trust anyone anymore, not even choi san.

he rushed outside and sat on the steps leading into the tall building as tears pricked the corners of his eyes. he curled up, knees to his chest, and dug his nails into his arms.

fucking idiot, he told himself. you shouldn't have given in so easily. look at what happens when you trust.

he heard a familiar voice calling his name gently. it nearly made his heart flutter, and it would have if not for him digging his nails into his skin deeper and bringing him back to the reality he was facing.

san wanted mingi, not him. it made sense. why would anyone want him?

"wooyoung, baby, please let me explain. it's nothing, i promise-" san begged as he approached the crumbling other.

"what is there to explain...?" wooyoung's voice cracked and shook with each word he spoke.

"baby, it isn't what it looks like, i swear-"

"then what the hell is it, huh?" he whipped his head up to look at the baffled older who froze at the harsh words. "you were on his lap, leaning in, a-and you said... you said he looked so fucking pretty. what else could it possibly be, san?" tears rolled down his cheeks, the heat boring into his skin. 

he could tell san was taken aback from the tears forming at the corners of his wide eyes and his slightly agape mouth. neither dared take a breath of the air that felt toxic. it was like you were breathing in poison that burned harshly on the way in. when wooyoung finally let go of the air in his lungs, he looked over san and started taking harsh, painful breaths, moreso panting than anything else. the sight of the older boy standing before him starting to cry and struggling to speak made him want to hug him and pet his hair and tell him everything was okay and that he was sorry for reacting how he did.

but it wasn't okay. he had to dig his nails into his skin to remind himself of that truth.

"i... we..." san attempted, failing miserably as he bit his lip and looked away.

a glistening tear made its way down his soft skin. it made wooyoung's heart shatter slightly before he reminded himself that he couldn't feel like that. it would just make everything so much worse. all he could do was allow him the time to sober himself up and try again.

"i was just doing his makeup, w-woo. i would never do a-anything to hurt you-" he started before getting cut off.

"oh, you wouldn't? well you fucking did."

"i-i know, i meant-" san let go of a breath and he balled up as he stood, looking at wooyoung with pleading eyes. "i didn't mean to, a-and i would never willingly hurt you... i'll do anything to make it better, i swear..."

"anything...?" wooyoung confirmed after a silent moment. san nodded, his eyes growing wider. wooyoung took a breath, closing his eyes and preparing for what he was about to say.

"get away from me."

-

BIGGER UH OH ! :))

i couldn't wait to get this one out so double upload two days in a row ! how fortunate are y'all !

i mean it's all going to shit so not that fortunate

thank you for reading and i hope you're enjoying even tho theres some issues happening ! <3