Forever | ✓

38. Circles

Serena

After my very dramatic moment earlier, I managed to pick myself off the floor and got into bed.

All that crying made me feel exhausted and in need of a nap.

I left the door unlocked, knowing that at some point either Sara or Danny will want to come in, and now that I had crawled into bed, I didn't exactly want to come out of it. I felt too cosy for that.

There was a knock at the door and I peeked out of the covers, to see Sara stepping through the door with a small smile on her face. She looked as drained as I did, and I felt so bad for doing that to her whilst pregnant, not even thinking about the stress it would cause her.

"Hey, S," she said, moving forward to sit on my bed and I sat up as well.

As soon as Sara sat down, I basically launched myself forward and hugged her tightly.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for scaring you. Are you okay?" I asked.

Sara let out an amused breath and held both my hands.

"It's fine-" she said, and then shook her head, "-well it's not really, but I'm okay. I'm worried about you. I've never seen you like that."

I sat back a little, leaning back onto the headboard. "I know, it wasn't exactly one of my finest moments."

For someone who keeps saying I'm not that dramatic, this morning was incredibly theatrical.

"Finest moments?" Sara scoffed. "Serena, you ran in here crying and locked the door. What the hell happened?" She asked.

I closed my eyes tightly for a second, since the words were right on the tip of my tongue, and I was so ready to tell her, but then the fear of her hating me was very present.

"I..." I began to day, but Sara pointed her finger at me.

In this moment, she looked really scary.

"Don't you dare tell me it's fine," she warned me with her eyes narrowed. "You were so happy in the morning, practically glowing and now? There's only two times I've seen you like this, once with your Dad's accident, and the other when Rocky died. So, I'll ask again, what the hell happened," she asked.

When she reminded me of how happy I was in the morning, I couldn't even help the tears that welled up in my eyes again.

Why am I so damn emotional, and also, where the hell are these tears even coming from? I don't even think I drink as much water as the amount I've cried.

"I'm done, Sara. I'm so done," I said, feeling my lips whimpering and the tears ready to fall past the brink. "Every time, every damn time I think things are where they're meant to be, it all falls apart. I'm such an idiot," I said.

Sara moved closer to me and pulled me into hug as I clutched her tightly, and rested my head on her shoulder.

"Oh, baby, you're not an idiot," she told me, rubbing my back up and down.

I sniffled, letting out a laugh at my own expense. "No, trust me, I am. I've spent my life in-" I began to say, before stopping myself.

I pulled away from the hug and Sara looked at me, waiting for me continue.

"In what?" She asked.

I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times, trying to get the words out.

Sara tilted a head a little, and reached out to grab my hand. "S, I'm your best friend. We've always had each other's back, tell me," she urged me and I let out a deep sigh.