Forever | ✓

49. Bliss

Serena

Bliss.

That's what my life currently felt like and I was loving it.

I felt as if I was up on cloud nine, with nothing but rainbows and sunshine surrounding me.

In the last few months - or even the past year - everything had been beautiful. I know I was determined not to wear the rose-tinted glasses this time, but I could help but occasionally view my world in that shade.

Initially, Liam's confession was...overwhelming, to say the least.

It had left me in a swirl of emotions. I never expected him to say those three words, let alone express a ray of feelings, that had me crying my eyes out until there were no tears left.

He loved me.

When he first said it, I didn't believe him, I couldn't. It just seemed like he was saying it out of pity, like because I had said it to him, he had to say to me.

Then my next concern was he only missed that presence in his life.

I couldn't be a replacement for someone else, I wouldn't let myself become one. I couldn't do that, not even for him.

It was why I wanted time from him. For the both of us, really. I wanted to not have this fear hanging over me and for him to be sure that he really wanted this. That he wanted us.

I've tried loving someone who didn't love me back. I've gone through heartbreak. I just wanted something less painful now.

Liam and I had many conversation about how this was going to go. He often told me, he was happy to go at whatever pace I wanted, even if I felt about it.

He said even if I were to give him little, he'd understand and would be happy, as long as I was by his side.

A part of me just wanted to be in his arms, but the more rational part of me knew not to push things. He'd confessed, which was truly amazing, but I couldn't also forget about everything I had been through before.

I wasn't going to hold it against Liam, nor was I going to be petty about it and constantly being it up. Especially since he didn't know. However, I thought it was best to just take things slow, really slow.

I've always been sure of my feelings and Liam seems sure, and I want to believe him. I just wanted to trust, that this wasn't someone he'd wake up one day and refuse or regret.

I didn't want to be heartbroken once again. I couldn't.

I just needed him to be sure of what he felt and wanted to see that from him.

Every time that he said 'I love you' and I didn't say it back, I felt bad. Liam wouldn't say anything nor did his expression give anything away, but I knew it was a horrible thing.

I just didn't want to say those words just yet...until I did.

It was Christmas Day, the year after his confession, where we went for an afternoon walk to the lake. Bea was napping and our parents were watching her, as we left for a little while.

Liam had mixed feelings about visiting the lake. He hated that it was the place where he saw me break, but then he also loved that it was the same place I confessed my feelings...albeit not in the most romantic of ways.

When we approached the lake, I remember the look on Liam's face, the deep set frown. I also knew exactly what he was thinking about.

It was how I also knew, this was exactly the moment I'd tell him...again.