Dripping Ink

10

TRIGGER WARNING Y'ALL STAY SAFE ⚠⚠⚠⚠

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Tyler pov:
That dream has become fuzzy since September. It was the day after Christmas and Me, eth,mark and Sean were just all hanging out. Ethan's appearance and possible mental state has grown worse. I'm going to have to ask what's wrong because it's getting worse. Once his dad returned he did something to the poor boy. After Sean and Mark left, it was just me and him. "Hey eth" "Yes?" A fake cheery expression was plastered on his place face. His once cheery green eyes we're nearly grey. It looked like he had 2 black eyes because he was tired. "What's been going on lately?".
"Nothin". He was lying, he had to be lying. " You sure? You've been very tired and unwell, something is up bud, talk to me" "Nothing is wrong ty! Why would you think that?" He mustered up a fake smile. His "happy" mask cracked with each lie, revealing his true emotion. (Which means it's showing that he is extremely upset). "Ethan, you look horrible. Something is wrong I'm not a idiot". His "Mask" Was starting to shatter. "Ran outta of insomnia pills recently that's why I've been looking like a mess" His smile shattered half of his "Mask". He was losing his fake smile, he was gonna break. " You haven't had pills for 3 months? You've been looking like this for 3 months Ethan." When ever I said his full name and not Eth I was serious. "Y... Yeah..? " That was the last straw. The rest of his "Mask" Crumbled as hot tears whelmed in his dull eyes. His fake smile slowly faded as he broke down. He grabbed his hood and covered his face. "I'm pathetic! " He cried in the grey fabric. "I can't take it anymore! All the hate and pain! Why am I fucking alive!? I can't do anything! If I tell CPS or the damn police I'll be taken to a foster home away from you! I'm dying on the inside and my head is literal shit! I can't breathe or think straight! I stopped taking the pills because I deserve this mother fucking pain!" "Can you look at me?" I asked. He revealed his face. Tears were fallin like waterfalls, his grey eyes were shining with the years. He was sorta looking at me so I grabbed his chin to make him look at me.

*I'm using almost all the things I've said to others and altered it to make this, I've said before I've delt with suicide and this type of stuff*

"Your listening right?, well Ethan I need you to keep listening, now you say that you deserve all this? That your pathetic? I've got another thing coming, Your one of the most strongest person I've met that helps others ignoring your own issues, you've pushed through so much trauma that could have drove you insane. You some how muster up a smile even though your hurting in any way possible. You do anything to not upset your friends and will do anything to keep them smiling even if you can't keep a real smile intact. You have always made my day way betterx I'm so damn sorry for not speaking up earlier, your suffering. You've given to us now we are giving back. You deserve this. We are going to protect you and make sure you have a smile. You've done so much for us that now we must return it. You don't need to sacrifice your own sanity for us now. Your worth every damn second of mine, and their lives.

*that got deep very mf quick, it's about to get even more deep y'all, be careful because this can get more and more triggering ⚠*

I noticed how his eyes gleamed with a bit of hope and happiness which I haven't seen for months. He couldn't speak. As he opened his mouth I sushed him. "No need to talk, if we must than we can continue this conversation at home, you need to rest your voice and the cold is getting to me"
*I'm lazy and stupid and I didn't mention they were under a tree at a park on a bench and the snow was getting a bit crazy*
"O.. Ok, we should go b.... because it's getting a.. a bit c...cold" As he spoke the stuttering that represented worry slowly faded into his teeth chattering. "Cmon,your place? " "Yeah sure" He agreed. As we walked he kept a distance due to him feeling like he was too clingy (he mentioned it before) I pulled him closer and wrapped my arm around his shoulders showing it's ok. His body was Tensed up, he slowly relaxed at my side.

Ethan pov:
I. Was. Fucking. Speechless. Sean has said this stuff but after years of hear stuff like that from him it started to sound like lies. Out of all the people I didn't expect him to say that to be honest. I felt extremely clingy so I had tried to keep a distance. Kyle had told me I was too clingy all the time so I was too scared to walk close to people besides Sean sometimes, but he pulled me to his side. I was extremely suprised. But I hadet myself relax. Being all worked up and tense seriously tired me the hell out.
As we sat in my room I finally gave in. "I guess I should vent huh" "As I said manty times, you should it will make you  feel much better and know that your not alone." He told me "f.. fine".

"After losing my mom to suicide because of my dad I has assumed that the soul mate thing had done that so I started to hate it, after my dad never got help he started to abuse me and whisky. He would drink and hurt me, after losing my sibling I wasnt protected-"

"Sorry to interrupt but you had a sibling? "

"Yes, she died of kidney failure, my dad refused to pay her bills and for a transplant, she died because of it"

"S.. Seriously?"

"Mhm, her name was meriah, if she was still with us, she would be in her sweet 16, died 2 years ago, had her entire life infront of her but my dad refused to pay the bills, he had enough fucking money to do it but he's gotta have his money for whisky and drugs of course. I watched her die as the nurses held me back from running to her ber as my dad popped some pills outside the room. But I'm gettin on a tangent, after she was gone I wasn't protected, I and to fight which I got good at. Then we moved down here eventually then he just got worse as I refused to do anything besides get through school. Eventually i hated soulmates so much and found Kyle, as you know that went down the drain as fast as hell. Now really that's all I can say right now because I'm getting a bit tired"

*Me rn that's why I'm cutting it short and I'm running outta ideas*.

"I never knew about your sister... " "Only Sean knew, he knows so much, you could ask him stuff if I'm not available, we could visit her grave, well when the snow calms one day, actually... Look outside" I walked over to the window, it was literally just white.  "Welp, do I have to go home? " I asked "nah your ass is staying here"
I was on FaceTime with Sean while Tyler played on his phone. "Get a headphones and go in the other room, I need your talk to you" Sean whispered. I got up and did what he said and left the room. The smell of whiskey poisoned the sour air of  a dying planet. Well of the musky house because I'm not outside. "Alright make it quick" "So I think I found your soulmate."

No pov: (it's really hard to write Ethan's pov at the moment)
"Oh really" Ethan hissed, immediately regreting how loud he was because Tyler could hear him. "Have you been doodling alot" "Yeah" "Has he been hiding his arms lately" "It's cold out stupid" "Do you go to gym with him?" "No" "Fuck, anyways it has to be him-" "I'm gettin a little tired buddy so I'm gonna go" "Ethan I swear don't yo-" He hit the red button and ended the call. Sean was getting extremely annoying at this point. Ethan still gave up on the entire thing, he couldn't wait until he wasn't under the chains of that. He walked back into the room. "You good? You were yelling a bit" "Sean being annoying, I'm getting tired so ima head to sleep, you get bottom bunk today" "Ok, just don't fall through Tyler joked. " Oh really? I put ya on the bottom because you'd probably break this wrecked tooth pick of a bed" Ethan snickered. He clumbed to the top took his gloves off and curled up in the soft blankets. "Turn of the lights they are blinding my ass" He groaned. After a few seconds they were clicked off. Ethan watched the soft snow flutter from the black sky. The orange street light (around my grandmothers house the street lights are orange) luminated the white wonder. His body relaxed as his mind cleared. He slowly fell asleep.

Oh heeeeey thereeeee I was gonna post 2 chapters the other day but I fell asleep in the middle of writing this, I was busy yesterday (rn it's 1am) And on Xmas Eve my grandmother was sent to the hospital so I'm kinda on edge and I'm just lazy in general. Ghost has been harassing me lately,god it's so annoying.... But I'm trying alright!