(Editing) ριεcεs υηsσℓvε∂ ↞Teen Wolf

Chapter20

"To escape fear, you have to go through it, not around."

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I was restringing the string on my lacrosse stick as I sat in Ms. Morrell's office. Things were pretty hectic in the last six days.  .  . . . . Yeah, uh Matt died that night. My dad said that he had drowned. As for Melanie, she's walking around like nothing happened. It's almost like she's being controlled again, but that can't be it because her controller is dead.

"You know when you're drowning, you don't actually inhale until right before you black out. It's called voluntary apnea. It's like no matter how much you're freaking out, the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head's exploding. But then when you finally do let it in, that's when it stops hurting. It's not scary anymore. It's... It's actually kind of peaceful." I say, looking up at Ms. Morrell.

"Are you saying you hope Matt felt some peace in his last moments?" Ms. Morrell asks.

"I don't feel sorry for him." I said.

"Can you feel sorry for the little boy who drowned?" She asks.

"Just because a bunch of dumbasses-and yes, Isaac's brother made a dumbass move,  dragged him into a pool when he couldn't swim doesn't really give him the right to go off killing them one by one. And by the way, my dad told me that they found a bunch of pictures of Kat on Matt's computer. And not just of her though. I mean, he photo shopped himself into these pictures. Stuff like them holding hands and kissing. You know, like he had built this whole fake relationship. So yeah, maybe drowning when he was little was what sent him off the rails, but the dude was definitely riding the crazy train." I say.

"Okay, switching subjects. How are things with you and your dad ?" She asks.

"I still feel like there's something wrong between us. I don't know. It's just, tension when we talk. Same thing with Scott and Issac." I reply, looking down.

"Have you talked to Issac since that night? Or what about Scott ? How's he doing with the whole Allison situation?" She asks.

"I haven't really talked to Issac. I mean, he's got his own problems to deal with though. And Scott, Allison being in a coma--it hit him pretty hard. He's spent every night at the hospital. I don't think Issac's talked to Kat. But that might be more her choice, you know. Her mom dying hit her pretty hard and like I said the whole Allison situation. But I guess it brought her and her uncle closer." I paused and softly chuckled to myself. " Actually the funny thing is, as of right now, Lydia is the one who seems the most normal."

"And what about you, Stiles? Feeling some anxiety about that championship game tomorrow night?" She asks just as I'm pulling on one of the strings with my teeth.

I spit the string out and looked up at her. "Why would you ask me that? Ah. Uh, no. I... I never actually play. But hey, since one of my teammates is dead, who knows, right?"

That's when I noticed her tapping on her empty notepad. "Hey, how come you're not taking any notes on this?"

"I do my notes after the session." She responds, calmly.

"Your memory's that good?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"How about we get back to you, Stiles?" She says as I set my stick on the floor.

"I'm fine. Yeah, aside from the not sleeping, the jumpiness, the constant, overwhelming, crushing fear that something terrible's about to happen." I inhale deeply.

"It's called hyper-vigilance, the persistent feeling of being under threat." She explains.

"But it's not just a feeling, though. It's... It's like it's a panic attack. You know, like I can't even breathe." I say, thinking back to when I found out my mom died.