alexithymia
subclinical phenomenon involving a lack of emotional awareness or, more specifically, difficulty in identifying and describing feelings and in distinguishing feelings from the bodily sensations of emotional arousal
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"𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨...
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"you shouldn't be here" chenle slammed the book shut, shoving it into his drawer "leave, now"
"you have...alexithymia?" she stumbled backwards as chenle approached her
"it's none of your business" his eyes locked on her and his fists began balling up
"i-i...i really didn't mean to see it i just..." her back was now nearing the walls and chenle was approaching her at lightning speed
"you just what! happen to be in my office, sticking your nose in business that's not yours!"
her back hit the wall and she pressed her palms against it in fear. chenle was scary when he lost control, it was almost as if he would kill anything in sight when his head was fogged with anger.
his hands slammed against the wall, his body hovering above hers "get out"
"well i'm trying to..."
"erase whatever you saw just then" he hands against the wall balled, eyes struck into her. his stance made him seem angry, but his eyes sad otherwise. it was a blank black.
"memories don't work like that" she looked at him, a corner of her lips lifting "you may not realise it, but there's a beauty behind the beast"
the thing about alexithymia is that you could feel emotions, but have a harder time conveying them, almost as if you couldn't show what you really felt until the point you forget them. chenle knew that feeling, but he was so used to it he adapted till the point his heart was beginning to drain with emotion
"you're a speaking nonsense"
"can i be honest?" (a/n i so hate to be controlledddddd)
"you have to be"
"listen, i really need those member profiles so i came here looking for them. that's it"
chenle almost laughed "you don't need to stay here, you can leave if you want"
"alright, but that's talk about the money"
"will you leave if i gave you your money" chenle cocked his head to the side in amusement
"yeah of course. the whole reason why i'm here is because i want money kid, give me the money
