hey guys! so another update! also i'll be posting my new story called manila, its a hood one haha okay? so pls do read it! love you all!
jane
I pulled Luke into a cute little gift shop since I saw this cute panda bear and I just knew that I had to have it.
Me, being the weirdo, I jumped/skipped around the shop until I saw what I wanted. I quickly grab a hold of the cute stuff toy and when I tried to take it, a certain force made me fail to do it.
I dropped my hand to see Alexa, holding the bear. And Luke just starred at her.
Seeing Luke stare at her like that, made my heart sink. He has never looked at me like that, at all. Knowing that Luke's preposition to me was just so he can get over Alexa and somehow build a friendship with me, it made my heart break.
And I don't know what is up with me, but it seems like I want more than that. I want more than friendship but as I watch Luke and Alexa's eye contact, I'm a hundred percent sure that it isn't happening any sooner.
"Alexa." Luke breathed out. Oh how I wished he would say my name like that.
"Luke, hi!" she smiled, the bear still in her hands.
"I see that your girlfriend also wanted the bear. Here, Jane. Have it." she smiled widely, trying to hand the bear to me.
But I just shook my head. "No thanks, you can have it."
"Luke, I forgot that I have to do something. Bye!" I ran out the shop trying to not let the tears fall.
-
I sat on my bed, mad and frustrated. Why was I acting like this? I shouldn't be at all jealous. I need to keep in mind that this is all fake, me and Luke.
We are nothing but just, friends. It's already bad that I slept with him but I think developing feelings for him is the worst.
And I know that it isn't going to be easy for me to admit that. Because I don't believe in feelings and most of all I don't believe in love! Love is just so stupid and I don't believe that I will find love at all because that is just absurd. It isn't gonna happen. Never in a million years.
More importantly, the one I'm developing feelings for is Luke. He's Luke fucking Robert Hemmings and he seems too perfect for me. His eyes, face, laugh and how he acts around just drives me crazy and I know, I just can't have that. I'm not even worth it.
And as much as it hurts me, it was crystal clear that Luke still likes Alexa. And it would just hurt me even more if I admit to myself that I like Luke because I know that Luke sees me just as a friend. Like his little sister and nothing more. It would just hurt me to hear him say that he doesn't feel the same way for me.
I know that I shouldn't have run out the store like that but i couldn't bare see the two of them in the same room, starring at each other. I'm just plain old Jane. I have nothing special about me, my eyes are dull, I am nowhere close to Alexa's beauty and I just don't want to have my hopes up.
I know that, tomorrow. I should just pretend that nothing happened. Just like i didn't have feelings for him at all. Something like that. But I knew, I just knew that I have to admit it sooner or later. That I like Luke.
I check my phone to see more than a hundred messages and missed calls from Luke.
This is gonna be one hard night.
