The Worst Of Luck

chapter twenty nine

I blocked out the train of thoughts I had running through my head, and returned back to Aidan. Dr. Davids was flushing his picc line, as he laid there mindlessly watching tv.
Aidan wasn't the same boy he was when he was first diagnosed. He had began to loose himself, the chemo wore him out and most of the time it was as if he was a shell of the boy he once was. I knew he was in constant pain, and I wanted nothing more then to be able to stop that. But I couldn't. And a part of me knew Aidan's time was coming to an end, no medicine or treatment worked, nothing ended his cycle of pain, and I knew letting him go would be the best thing for him if the medicine didn't start to work. And that's what scared me the most, because I don't know if I could let him go.

I had no idea what I'd do if he died, where would I go? What would I do? I couldn't possibly stay here, i could never put up with Vincent after loosing Aidan. I don't want an entire pack of strangers witness me falling apart. Because I know if loose my boy, I'll loose myself.

I returned back to the pack house to make some food and get some more things while we waited for the results of Aidan's current state. Vincent had gone to see Aidan quite a bit last week but he's been a little MIA this week. I'm assuming it's pack business.

Emily and her mate had been getting along well, which I was happy for. She had stopped by frequently the last few weeks, which I was thankful for because it was nice to have someone there with me who understood my silence and didn't ask questions that made me want to cry.

"Olivia, how are you doing?" Someone asked from behind me, I turned around to meet the eyes of Dylan. Someone I hadn't talked to in a while. "I'm okay, how are you?" I asked, trying to be polite. Truth be told, I didn't really want to be having this conversation. I had too many things on my mind. "I'm good, I've heard about Aidan. Everything okay with him?" He asked, that's all people ever asked these days. I understand the curiosity, but talking about the situation made me feel as if I was going to break. "He's been better," was all I could muster up. I didn't really want to tell him that Aidan was dying if his medicine didn't start working. "I hope he'll be okay," He said genuinely, I hope he'll be okay too. I smiled and said my thanks before heading to my room to get more things. My room had been pretty much untouched these last few weeks, I'd either slept at the hospital or didn't sleep at all.

I threw some comfy clothes into the bag, as I glanced to the photo on my dresser. A picture Emily had taken of Aidan on my wolf. I sat down on the end of my bed and smiled sadly at the memory, things were so easy then. It was just him and I. At the time, I thought I had the rest of my life to watch him grow and start his own family. I never thought as a parent, I'd have to possibly see my child leave this world before I would.

I heard a soft knock on my door as I glanced to the entrance, Vincent stood in the doorway. He had a five o'clock shadow and dark bags under his eyes. "What do you want Vincent?" I sighed, resting the photo on my lap. "I just wanted to see how you were, we haven't talked much lately and things have not been easy these last few weeks." He mumbled, running his fingers through his hair. I contemplated if I should even respond or just get up and leave. Every time we're even in the same room we argue, and I did not have the energy to do that right now.

"I'm fine, it's not me you should be worried about anyway. It's our son." I said. He sighed before leaning against the wooden frame of my bedroom doorway. "I know that, but its obvious that it's taken a toll on you, as it should to any parent experiencing what we are." He replied, gesturing to my weight loss and tired appearance. "Seriously, I'm fine. Anyway, I've got to head back to the hospital. I don't want to leave Aidan alone for too long. But you should stop by to see him, he misses you and if I'm being completely honest here, I'm not sure how much time we have left if his medicine doesn't kick in." I said sadly, glancing down at the ground. I didn't want to meet his stare, not when I could feel tears pooling in my eyes. I felt him put his hand on my shoulder, "it's okay to cry, Olivia." He said, as I wiped my eyes dry. "Now is not the time to break down," I mumbled, walking away from his touch. "There's too much going on to crumble, we have to stay strong for Aidan. For when he can't be strong," I said, grabbing my packed bag and leaving my room to head back to the hospital.