commitment// sulay

five.

"your cheeks fit quite perfectly in my hands," yixing said, looking deep into jimin's eyes, "why would you try to get rid of perfection?"

jimin gulped.

"i'll- i'll eat well, hyung," jimin decided, yixing's hands then leaving his face.

"great. so, what do you wanna eat?" yixing asked him.

"mm, whatever you can make," jimin said. yixing looked to junmyeon and his friends, who he could see from the kitchen.

"have you guys decided on a place to eat yet?" yixing asked. junmyeon shook his head.

"no, we haven't," junmyeon said.

"would you rather i just cook for you all?" yixing asked.

"yes," jongin nodded, "i like homemade food."

"okay," yixing nodded, then looking to junmyeon, "can i use anything in the fridge and pantry?"

"yeah," junmyeon nodded.

"okay," yixing said, then going to the fridge and looking around.

"so, hyung, i bumped into tzuyu the other day," jimin said. yixing, as always, stiffened at the mention of his ex.

"so did tao. how coincidental. how is she? is she doing well?" yixing asked, trying not to sound too desperate.

"she still seems angry but i think she really misses you," jimin said apologetically, "and i wouldn't bring it up, but i thought you would want to know that she's dating that eunwoo guy now."

"o-oh?" yixing stuttered, then looking to jimin, "is.. is she happy?"

"i sincerely don't know," jimin told him, "i would like to think so, though."

"good for her then," yixing said, taking a deep breath as he pulled ingredients from the fridge, "i hope she is happy and prosperous in her relationship."

"i'm really sorry, hyung," jimin told yixing, "i know how much you loved her. she was your world."

"some things can't be helped," yixing decided, trying not to be too hurt, "it's... it's better that we broke up than we did rather than get married to each other if we didn't belong together."

"have... have you forgiven her?" jimin asked, voice heavy. yixing grabbed a cutting board, mincing some vegetables.

"i believe the more important question here is if she has forgiven me," yixing said, "i acted very selfishly."

"when?" jimin frowned.

"when we first started dating in high school, i promised her that i would spend the rest of my life doing whatever i could to make her happy," yixing said, "i broke that promise when i decided to pursue a dancing career-"

"you were miserable," jimin shook his head, "it's a good thing you did what you did, yixing. you gave her your entire world and what did she do? she went behind your back, lied to you, stole your money from you, and cheated on you relentlessly. you were even kind enough to leave her everything- your savings, the house, the car, everything. nothing you did was selfish, hyung. nothing."

"i had her believe that she was marrying a doctor. a successful doctor. we came to korea together, we bought a house together. no, no, she did all of those things with the man she thought i was. and in the end i just became a disappointment to her. do you have any clue how much shame i brought to my family, to her, to her family? she can't even go home to her family because they hold her at fault. because of me, jimin, because of me. and yeah, maybe she did lie to me. but i lied to her too when i promised that i would be the man she would spend the rest of her life with," yixing spoke, "sure, she cheated on me, stole my money- but i'd give her all of my money all over again because i destroyed the life we were going to start."

"you're wrong, hyung. you didn't destroy it. couples should support each other. you supported her, you loved her, you cherished her. every little thing you did, you did for her. you stopped living for her. you followed a career that you hated for so long just for her. and what did she do? she used you, hyung, she took advantage of you. i don't see how you can hold her on so high a pedestal," jimin said. yixing shook his head, looking to jimin.

"please do not judge her, jimin," yixing said, "at the end of the day, she deserved better than me. someone more handsome, someone smarter, someone she can rely on. i sincerely hope that she'll find that with eunwoo."

"eunwoo isn't better than you," jimin said, "no one is better than you. you're kind, you're funny, you're so freaking hot, you're considerate, and you have this way of making people feel like they're the most special person in the world. i just can't see why you think so lowly of yourself."

"i did something unforgivable," yixing said, grabbing a pan and sautéing the vegetables he previously cut, "and the worst part of it is, i think i might have done it again if given the chance."

"and that's how you know you made the right choice, hyung," jimin told yixing.

"no, i didn't make the right choice. i made the choice that was better for me. i didn't at all think about those around me. i should have asked her again before quitting my job at the hospital, i should have told her again that i wanted to try something different," yixing said, "we were going to get married, jimin. i still have her ring. if people are going to get married, they shouldn't hide things like that from each other."

"you know, hyung, it's so funny that you say that, because all she ever did was hide things from you."