Run Away

The Morning After

I awoke to my phone alarm buzzing rapidly in my ear. It was Friday morning. I had to get my lazy, depressed ass out of bed. Sadly I got up and began to get ready. I remembered the night before. I looked in the mirror and had makeup stained tears down my face. I looked like I had cried an ocean. I mean who have. The person you love, your role model, someone that is like a big brother to you left.
As I got ready I thought about what things would be like without him here. No good morning kisses, no cuddling me in the cafeteria, no one saying "you look beautiful today", no more being walked or carried to class, no fun times with him, no constant reminder that you are important to someone and the someone loves you to death. It was hard to take it all in. Before I knew it I was ready to head out the to go to a place I have always dreaded, school. Ugh. I took a deep breath and exhaled it. I whispered to myself in a calmly but teary voice. "Mir he left this morning and it's ok. You will be ok. Everything will be ok."
After my self giving pep talk, I walked out the front door in his jacket, with his bracelet and cologne on. It was time to face everyone at school who would be asking where he was and if we were still together. It was time to face my fear of him being gone. It was time to realize he is no longer here with me.
Soon I got to school and worked my way to the cafeteria and spotted a couple friends. I thought about how he was always the first person I saw when I got to school, how he would greet me with a "good morning baby" and a kiss on the cheek or a embracing hug. Somehow I couldn't control my thoughts and I started to feel little tears run down my cheeks. Of course, the day he leaves I have to go to school and answer all the dumbass questions people will ask about him and us. Of course, I'm gonna cry almost the whole day because someone that I spent every moment with was gone.
I quickly walked to where my few friends were and put my head down trying to to show my face so I don't get asked any questions. I tried to keep my cries and my sobs in but I couldn't. It wasn't possible for me. I let out a big cry and soon my face was dripping with tears. My sadness was uncontrollable. It wouldn't leave and I couldn't stop it.
I felt an arm around me. It tightened around me and hugged me and held me. Thinking it was Ben I looked up, sadly to only find my friend Dakota. I appreciated the comforting but I didn't want to be comforted. I wanted Ben to come back and be with me. He said forever but of course I was stupid enough to fall for his forever. He made the bad moments turn into good moments, always. Forever takes time, effort, loyalty, faith, and here. I would wait until he comes back...I would wait until he told me it was over.

'Hey Mir, it's okay. Get over him. Your a big girl, he doesn't matter." I heard Dakota murmur to me in my ear.

I glared at him with anger. How could he say such a thing? Get over him? He doesn't matter? What the hell? I didn't understand how he could sit there and say that when he talked to Ben everyday and sat wiith him everyday adn hung out with him every damn day. But then again, I was Dakota's best friend, so of course he would hang around my boyfriend and I. He wanted to be a supportive friend, even if that meant hanging around a guy he wasn't too fond of. It was still ironic how he could say those things. it bothered the hell out of me that almost all of Ben's friends told me to just move on. Their supposed to be his friends and have faith that we could make it, but a lot of them didn't. His friends were my friends, so it hurt to hear that I should just move on from people I loved and cared about.

I heard the bell ring which meant I had to go to my home room class, which also meant I had to see Mr.Calvin. One of the schools meanest teachers. Thank God he wasn't a teacher that tought me an elective or subject but he was the first person I had to deal with in the morning, which was pretty exhausting. He tought on level math. Which was normal math for the 9th grade. I was in 12th grade math so luckily I didn't have to deal with his mean ass grading my papers. I was his most hated student, I stood up for others and myself, but you see.. he doesn't like people with a spine.

I walked into class, not only seeing Mr.Calvin but seeing them also. The little 'I think I'm better than everyone else" squad. They were a group of girls that were in love with Ben, but when they found out he liked me and only me.. they did whateve it took to try to get him. Which obviously didn't work because a couple days later he got my number from a friend, we hung out the day after he got it, and that very night he asked me out.. and well obviously I said yes.

I really didn't want to hear their crap about him moving and about them thinking he'll most likely cheat. I didn't want to hear it at all. But I walked into class and heard snickers that were coming their way. I rolled my eyes, sat down, and slugged into my chair leaving my bookbag on my lap. Looking at Mr.Calvins face, he didn't look too happy to see me, like usual. I thought well guess what fucker, I'm not happy to see you either. I heard whispers coming from the front of the room (I sat in the back because that where the plug outlet was, which meant I got to charge my phone). The whsipers I knew were about me, they were always about me. I gave them a dirty look and waved then put my earbuds in and prayed that I would at least get through the day without flipping shit on someone or breaking down in a ocean full of tears.