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TWENTY TWO.

SMUT WARNING:

"Angel just stop." He plead. "It's not like that."

"Not like what, Harry?" Why can't you even talk to me? I'm giving you what you want here. Just take me!"

He rubbed his eyes and tried to get me off his lap. "Stop, please! Put that back on." He looked down at my dress on the floor.

"Take me!" I yelled, slapping him across the face when he wouldn't look at me.

His eyes met mine and he suddenly grabbed me by the arms and held me in place. "Take me, Harry!" I cried harder and thrashed around in his tight grip, but he wouldn't let go. No matter how hard I squirmed, his grip never faltered.

"Just calm down." He said, finally letting me go. I collapsed on his lap, my head falling on a cushion. My body shook with exhaustion, hunger, and anger. I kept crying as Harry reached for my dress to pull it back on. He quietly dressed me as I settled down.

"Please just let me talk."

I was silent in response, laying there helplessly across his lap.

"I've explained to you before, that late night when I called you into my office. My life isn't what it seems from the outside. I spend so much time at work or doing work related things, that I'm always looking for some kind of escape. Whether that be from the forgetfulness I get from drinking, the numbness I get from drugs, or the distraction I get from women. I'm trapped in my own life and it's like an endless cycle. I like you because you give me something those other things don't give me, real happiness." He paused and began stroking my arm with his cold fingers.

"I feel absolutely sick about what I do, but at this point it's an addiction and it's hard to stop. I need you Angel, I literally need you. I admit that I slept with one or two people after meeting you, but I just needed a release and it won't happen again. I swear to you! I'm going to try really hard to stop my drinking and pills. I know it's bad.." He trailed off with a sigh.

"Okay, but what happens when I'm not there then? What happens if I can't come to you when you feel tired, lonely, or angry? Will you just go back to drugs, drinking, and sex, like you did?" I finally spoke up.

"No. I won't do that to you. I'm going to be better." He said with genuineness.

I turned and looked up at him. He was rubbing the light stubble on his jaw with a blank stare.

"I'm sorry." I whispered barely audible.

He glanced down at me with his worried eyes. "C'mere."

I sat up and he embraced me in a hug. The hug I'd been waiting for. "I'm sorry too." He said into my hair. His arms felt safe again. I wanted to be there for him and make him happy. I buried my face into his neck, wanting to just be close to him. But a hug wasn't close enough.

"Harry." I whined out.

"Hm?" He mumbled. His hand slowly rubbing my back.

"I want you."

"You have me."

"No. Not like that." I pulled away from his neck and sat back down on his lap again. His tired eyes widened. "No, not right now. I can't."

"Why not?"

He chuckled a bit. "You were just having a fit a few minutes ago. I don't think it's a good time or good state to do that."

"But I want to." I whined again, unsure how to really show him I was serious.

He just shook his head and took my hands in his, playing with my fingers. "Baby, I don't want our first time to be under these circumstances. I don't want to just get our emotions out like this."