Perfectly Undone

Chapter 7

Here I am, on a plane on Christmas. Why do my emotions get the best of me? I was upset to say the least. At least now I knew why my parents weren't happy with me, I was single. And didn't have children! Why would they get so mad at me for not having children? I don't want children right now, or later in life in complete honesty. Sure I love hanging out with my little cousins but I could never deal with kids by myself.

There was forty-five minutes left in the plane ride and I was happy that I was so close to being home. I was hoping that I could get a ride back to the apartment, but because it was so late, I didn't know if Brooke would want to pick me up. I wasn't going to deal with her being moody about picking me up too.

Once we landed I felt like life sped up. I got my luggage and went to the long term parking garage and got into my car. But once I did my head started spinning and I was out of breath. I really didn't think anything was happening because I was like that in the plane, I was nervous getting on and off them. The nerves would never go away. It's nothing. I just want to get home and in bed while watching movies, but I kept driving till I started to hyperventilate. Pains ricocheted through my body, but I felt them in my chest. What's happening? Just like that, I blacked out.
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The bright fluorescent lights blinded me, but once I finally figured out where I was I looked around. Celeste and Brooke were talking in the corner and Celeste was texting someone who I think was my brother.

I took a breath because I'm alive and I almost died. "Ellie, your awake. Get the doctor C.C." Brooke whispered. I weakly smiled at her and she sat down next to me and rubbed my arm. "What happened?" I really couldn't remember what happened, only the pain.
"You had a panic attack Ellie."

I looked around and there were monitors hooked up to me. I heard the heartbeat monitor beeping and I saw an IV cable hanging. "I had a panic attack? That felt like a heart attack B."

"Sometimes that what happens." The doctor walked in and smiled. "These ladies were really worried about you. But yes, I can confirm it was a panic attack." He smiled but it didn't make me feel any better. 

"What do you think triggered it?" I felt really stupid after asking that. Of course you know why it was triggered. I ran away from Texas because my parents wanted grandchildren, then you stayed overnight in an airport and then you went on a plane. Of course it triggered something.

I started to explain what I had gone through and Tim, the doctor, listened and listened. Then of course Celeste and Brooke added there own little opinions into the story and the doctor took that more seriously then what I said. They decided to talk about Josh and what he did too. The doctor wrote it down and I felt pain on my collar bones then I heard the heart rate monitor speed up, "Can we stop talking about Josh, it's over and done with!" I was loud and they looked taken back from what I said.

"Ellie, from what your friends have told me I would go talk to someone. From what there saying you sound like you have bipolar depression, but I'm not authorized to say that. But my wife is a therapist and she's talked about symptoms. Your up and down about your moods. You've faced trama, it can all be really scary. So I'll put that on your sheet to go talk to someone." He looked down at his watch then back at me, "Well were going to keep you here for a little bit, run some tests, and then you can go home." With that he thanked us and left the room.

Celeste and Brooke sat next to me and hugged me, Celeste was the first to cry, "I know you probably didn't want us to tell him, but we looked it up. Your moods change dramatically. We're just worried, we don't want to hurt you." I let some tears fall and hugged them tighter. "I'm glad you did. It's hard letting my personality change all the damn time girls. I don't know when it will stop, but I feel like every single day I'm different. Like the coffee shop I was happy, I go to the club and I'm flirty, I go home happy and then sad, now I'm here scared shitless. I don't want to know what happened to my car either."