This Life I Lead

Chapter 38

Mike opened the door. "Are you asleep?"

"No." Mal answered.

"Did you ever go?"

"Yeah."

"Are you getting up?"

"No."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"No."

"So you're going to sulk in here until whenever?"

"Yup."

"Mal,-"

"Just go."

"What about Rye and the twins? I thought you weren't going to abandon them again?"

Mal laid there for a moment before sitting up. "Fine."

"Maybe you could fix your attitude before you scare them?"

Mal glared at him. "If you and Marc would have kept your big mouths shut, this wouldn't have happened!"

"You said it! You're lucky we didn't tell her."

"You told our mom! What's the difference?!"

Mike's nostrils flared. "If you can't see the problem, you need to be here."

Mal looked away.

"Okay. Be that way. You were right about Marc. But you're way more like him than you think." Mike left.

Mal threw himself backwards.

M&MC

Mercedes knocked on the door before peeking inside. "Marcy? Are you awake?"

"Yeah."

Mercedes came inside and shut the door behind her. She crossed the room and began opening the curtains to let in the early April light. "How are you feeling?"

"How long are you going to ask me that?"

"Momma told us. About what Mal was planning." Mercedes faced a window.

Marcy sat up and shifted back.

Mercedes turned around. "I'm so sorry."

Marcy opened her mouth but nothing came out for a while. "I guess he's not the person I thought he was."

"But it's Mal! He doesn't mean half the things he says!"

"Like I can trust him? He loves me? He understands me? He'll always protect me?"

Mercedes bit her bottom lip. "I don't know what to say to make this better."

"It's not up to you. You didn't do anything."

"That seems to be a reoccurring theme with me. I never spoke up about my own illnesses. I never asked you questions, real questions about what was going on with you. I never came to see you right after you had a baby. I'm supposed to be your big sister and I feel like I'm doing the worst job imaginable."

"You're a great big sister, Mercy." Marcy slid out of the bed and hugged her.

"Then why are you always protecting me? It's my job to protect you but you've devoted your life to making mine easier. Why?"

"You're kind of an inspiration for me. You're what's good about this world and I never want your light to dim. I never wanted you to feel less of an older sibling. I just wanted you safe and happy."

Mercedes hugged her hard as she wept quietly. "I have always loved you and respected you and admired you and wanted you happy and safe. I just wish I would have done a better job of it."