Litchfield Diaries

Old Habits

*Alex's Pov*

I ran over to Nicky and grabbed what was in her hand. I wasn't about to let her fuck up. Not again.

"Nichols. Listen to me. Red will come back. They can't deport her like that. She's been here so long, and commited a crime here. She'll be back." I said.

"Well you know  what Vause? I don't care anymore. Okay?! My mom left me! Red's gone! Lorna doesn't give 2 shits about me!" Nicky said in frustration, while kicking everything in sight.

I grabbed her shoulders and sat her down. She burried her head into my shoulders. "Alex I can't handle this. I don't care anymore!" She said as she was crying.

I calmed Nicky down. And put her to bed. I threw the drugs down the toilet. If Red  found out that she almost did it again, I don't know what would've happened.

It was also visitation day. I walked passed the visitation room and saw Larry. I stopped by the window and just stared him down.

Before the visiting hour was over I headed back to my cube. Piper came walking in. "You saw Larry?" I said slightly looking up from my book.

"Yeah, but it was only to tell him that when I  get out, that i want all my things back and out of the apartment. " Piper said.

I raised my eye brows. "Alex look. I don't love him. If it makes you feel better, I'll take him off my visitation list." Piper added.

"Do whatever. I don't care." I said. "Al, what's up? You're in a bad mood." Piper asked.

"Nicky tried to do drugs again. She's so done, all she wants is Red. Or someone to love her. Apparently something happened with her and Lorna." I said.

"But that's not what's bothering you. Alex, I know you. Something else is going on  in that mind of yours. I would really like it if you'd talk to me about it." Piper stated.

I gestured for her to sit down next to me. As i pushed my glasses to the top of my head, i said "You're right. That's not what's bothering me. Part of it is you. I feel like we're back in Paris. I always feel like your leaving me. Then theres the fact that in 4 or 5 months, you'll be out of here, and I won't be. How do I know that you'll wait? Then when I do get out, I'm going to be so scared that Kubra will be after me. Piper, i fucking named him...."

Piper just looked at me. "Alexandra Nicole Vause. Why the hell would you turn him in?! He could get you killed! And Alex, I'll always wait for you."

"Wow thanks Pipes. Wasn't like I was scared enough. But he's in prison for close to a life time. And I'm glad you'll wait...but what does this make you? Lesbian, Bi, or are you straight?  I'm just confused."

"Alex, I honestly don't know. All i know is that i love you. And I want you."

I smiled. I held her hand and just looked at her. Nicky finally woke up and sat down right between Piper and I.

"So Vause, what's this i heard? Your name is Alexandra Nicole? Such a pussy name" Nicky said.

I playfully hit her. "Well your names Nicole Taylor. That's  a pretty lame name." I said.

Nichols hit me back. "Piper Elizabeth. Damn it. That's  a good name. Screw you Chapman." Nicky added.

We all laughed.

Something was missing. We all missed Morello. We had no clue where she went.